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Being a Mom is hard. Being a stay at home Mom has its challenges as one could feel a tremendous sense of loneliness and isolation. All of a sudden, what I have been planning and wanting for years has happened. I am a Mom:) My twins were around six months old. Husband was working full time and we were living in a four-storey town house in London, in 2006. During the first 9 months of my twins lives, I hardly ever left the house during the day except for immunizations or medical check ups which was done with my husband driving all of us. I stuck to the routine of set times for feeding, napping and playing for the babies.  Oh yes, I was told it is good for the babies to take a walk every day, but I thought it was too much work as I did not have the skills or the know how to feel confident in getting two babies out in a practical, quick and safe out of a town house with steps outside with a double buggy.:(

So, how did I stay sane?

From the time I started to conceive, I joined www.babycentre.co.uk where I made online friendships with countless number of Moms and Moms to be from the click of a mouse from home. Surely, the internet is full of nutters? How did I know whom I was befreinding were for real? I did not. After I conceived, I joined www.tamba.co.uk which is the Twins and Multiple Births Association in the UK consisting of 9000+ members. I was posting about trying to conceive, then about worries about various problems in pregnancy and then asking for advice on how to manage twins!!! The support and encouragement received from these virtual 'strangers' was over whelming. Amongst my online freindships were those whom have had multiple miscarriages, those with singletons, not just parents of mulitples and more. We shared what books we should be reading and tricks of the trade to get a baby to sleep through to sharing our worries about whether we were doing all the right things for our children.

What was amazing was I did go on to meet many of these 'virtual strangers' in person:D In fact, once I invited my group of contacts from babycentre to spend a day in my home. Families came from across the United Kingdom and all of them were as what we knew of each other online. Normal women going through the journey from fertility to giving birth and becoming a Parent or wanting to be one....Along the way, I learned there are others whom are not blessed as myself. Countless number of women who would make wonderful mothers kept on having multiple miscarriages or only to conceive to lose their babies due to a stroke of luck or mother nature.:( Below is a picture taken on that day.

In this picture taken in 2006, two of the Moms in the picture I am still in touch with in 2011. One to the far left is Esme who went on to have another baby and built her successful photography business AFTER becoming a Mom(http://www.esmerobinson.com/) On the far right is Kirsten who also went on to have another baby and is a successful Opera singer who after several years of working and travelling with her eldest, is for now, a stay at home Mom, resident in Germany (http://web.me.com/kirstenhodges/Site/Welcome.html)

I must also mention the www.nct.co.uk which is a national organization with local support groups which puts you in touch with parents in your neighbourhood. This was where I met a handful of mothers in my neighbourhood whom organized 'coffee mornings', nights out, play dates and discussed the pros and cons of local nurseries and about finding childcare and other services such as finding a great cleaner and family freindly restaurants in the neighbourhood. Today, I am in touch with several of those Moms too whom have also gone on to have more children and are based all over Europe:)

Lastly, but not least, the UK Twins Club (www.tamba.co.uk) was an incredible support line as the message board is strictly for members, encouraging members to feel more secure in posting about personal concerns. Through this board, I have again made friendships out of mostly 'virtual' exchanges and have met many in person over the last five years. I suspect, I will go on to meet many more as we are facing different challenges to those when our babies were infants ie to separate twins or not at school, developmental and behavioural issues etc. 

Amazingly, I have also done a house swap with another family of multiples in the UK without ever meeting them in person which was great for both families and the swap was international  Today, Facebook has changed the nature of how we all communicate and I guess it is a medium by which we ALL keep in touch with today.

Today, expecting parents have endless choice of supoprt groups locally and virtually to reach out to. Today, I suspect becoming a Mom is even harder than a decade ago as the pressures on parents to do 'everything ' is immense. The economic climate has changed and the costs of living is higher. Expectations from our partners and their expectations of us has also increased. We are all expected to have great careers, 2.2 kids, a great home, look our best and get the best schools for our kids...all the while parents do not actually get a 'day off' whether single or in a relationship. Being a parent is damn hard and one should reach out to various support groups available to connect with other parents locally and online. Naturally, please do follow guidelines in being safe online and never ever publish your contact numbers or address online.

Being a new Parent can be very frightening and isolating. Our therapist, Alisa will be able to make a visit to your home for a 'good chat' - confidentially. Alisa is a qualified post partum doula, qualified LCSW, Mom to a son and daughter aged 18 and 21 and specializes in the issues realted to fertility, pregnancy and post-partum.

Alisa Hafkin, LCSW

Alisa works with individuals, who are experiencing difficulty with depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, work and interpersonal conflicts, all within the context of the conception, pregnancy and the post-partum period. She says how you feel about your self, your life, your relationships and your pursuits can drastically change when trying to conceive, during pregnancy and after delivery.

Alisa's expertise with individuals & couples during their childbearing years developed from over seven years experience as a doula (teacher, guide, caregiver for pre & post partum families). Forming a trusting bond during this vulnerable time period enables Alisa to help people understand and cope with the feelings such as powerlessness while undergoing fertility treatments, anxiety about the future during pregnancy, helplessness when dealing with a newborn and confusion about relationships and roles.

Alisa says many individuals and couples struggle with powerful emotions that emerge during this time in their lives. She says if you feel sad, over whlemed, confused, angry, stuck or afraid, you may need help dealing with this significant change in your life. Together, with Alisa, you CAN uncover your personal resources that will provide you with feelings of competence and insight as you progress through this period in your life.

To book an appointment to have a 'chat' with the lovely Alisa, please e-mail Alisa@momtomomsadvisor.com. Please give a contact number and a convenient time to return the call.

BIO

Alisa earned her Master of Social Work degree from Fordham University. She combines her phychotherapy practice with seven years experience as a doula to create a unique expertise with individuals and couples preparing and/or deaing with pre and post pregnancy issues. Her distinctive practice includes home based therapy sessions when office visists are not feasible. In addition, Alisa works in the creative arena, providing therapy for muscians through The Jazz Foundation of America. Alisa maintains a private practice in Manhattan's Upper West Side.

Being a new Mom can be very frightening and isolating. Our therapist, Alisa will be able to make a visit to your home for a 'good chat' - confidentially. Alisa is a qualified post partum doula, qualified LCSW, Mom to a son and daughter aged 18 and 21 and specialises in the issues realted to fertility, pregnancy and post-partum.

Alisa Hafkin, LCSW

Alisa works with individuals, who are experiencing difficulty with depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, work and interpersonal conflicts, all within the context of the conception, pregnancy and the post-partum period. She says how you feel about your self, your life, your relationships and your pursuits can drastically change when trying to conceive, during pregnancy and after delivery.

Alisa's expertise with individuals & couples during their childbearing years developed from over seven years experience as a doula (teacher, guide, caregiver for pre & post partum families). Forming a trusting bond during this vulnerable time period enables Alisa to help people understand and cope with the feelings such as powerlessness while undergoing fertility treatments, anxiety about the future during pregnancy, helplessness when dealing with a newborn and confusion about relationships and roles.

Alisa says many individuals and couples struggle with powerful emotions that emerge during this time in their lives. She says if you feel sad, over whlemed, confused, angry, stuck or afraid, you may need help dealing with this significant change in your life. Together, with Alisa, you CAN uncover your personal resources that will provide you with feelings of competence and insight as you progress through this period in your life.

To book an appointment to have a 'chat' with the lovely Alisa, please e-mail Alisa@momtomomsadvisor.com. Please give a contact number and a convenient time to return the call.

BIO

Alisa earned her Master of Social Work degree from Fordham University. She combines her phychotherapy practice with seven years experience as a doula to create a unique expertise with individuals and couples preparing and/or deaing with pre and post pregnancy issues. Her distinctive practice includes home based therapy sessions when office visists are not feasible. In addition, Alisa works in the creative arena, providing therapy for muscians through The Jazz Foundation of America. Alisa maintains a private practice in Manhattan's Upper West Side.

FEES ARE PAYABLE DIRECTLY TO THE THERAPIST.

For rates for regular sessions, and for sessions outside New York City, please enquire.