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So you've just given birth in the hospital and all the nurses are around making sure you and the baby are well. You spend 48 hours in the hospital (if you didn’t have a C-Section) during which your and your baby's needs are addressed. Then it's time to leave and your hands start to shake when you try to swaddle your infant and prepare him/her for a first voyage in the outside world.
You arrive at home and realize when you cross the threshold that there's no turning back! You're home and now what?
Trying to create some sense of stability and familiarity is the first order of priority and you sometimes have to remind yourself that a profound change has taken place. It's a time of great joy - you have a beautiful new child. Confusion - what do I do now? Elation - our child is an expression of our commitment and love. Sadness - a sense of loss for your former life as it was.
You start to recognize your new role as a parent but don't really understand how to act like one.
You know your partner is a parent too and that can change your feelings toward him/her.
Sometimes you’re not even sure you love your new baby and that makes you feel like there is something wrong with you. You may want to parent as well as your own parents or you may want to parent nothing like them. You may be surprised the range of emotions that arise including depression and anger.
As a psychotherapist and doula I have seen this occur time and again. All of these feelings and more arise during this critical time and it is important that they be addressed. After you worked so many years, achieving a level of competence, respect and professionalism, it is hard to feel out of control. This can lead to frustration with your relationships and yourself.
When I was as a doula I worked with a new mom with infections in both her breasts and she asked me if she could take a shower at 4 in the afternoon. When she came out she apologized for taking so long. I asked her to remember what flight attendants say when announcing safety measures on a plane - “for those passengers flying with small children, put the oxygen mask on your face first and then on your child”.
It is extremely important that you prioritize yourself during this time. To raise a healthy child you have to be healthy yourself. I encourage you to call me to talk about what you are experiencing and get some understanding and tools to help you through this most extraordinary time in your life.
Alisa Hafkin, LCSW

Alisa is not just another therapist as she herself raised two children of her own in Manhattan, and went through all that a New Mom in New York goes through and she really cares. Alisa is approachable, compassionate and has vast experience of counselling individuals and couples.
Alisa works with individuals, who are experiencing difficulty with depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, work and interpersonal conflicts, all within the context of the conception, pregnancy and the post-partum period. She says how you feel about your self, your life, your relationships and your pursuits can drastically change when trying to conceive, during pregnancy and after delivery.
Alisa's expertise with individuals & couples during their childbearing years developed from over seven years experience as a doula (teacher, guide, caregiver for pre & post partum families).
Forming a trusting bond during this vulnerable time period enables Alisa to help people understand and cope with the feelings such as powerlessness while undergoing fertility treatments, anxiety about the future during pregnancy, helplessness when dealing with a newborn and confusion about relationships and roles.
Alisa says many individuals and couples struggle with powerful emotions that emerge during this time in their lives. She says if you feel sad, over whlemed, confused, angry, stuck or afraid, you may need help dealing with this significant change in your life. Together, with Alisa, you CAN uncover your personal resources that will provide you with feelings of competence and insight as you progress through this period in your life.
To book an appointment to have a 'chat' with the lovely Alisa, please e-mail Alisa@momtomomsadvisor.com. Please give a contact number and a convenient time to return the call.
BIO
Alisa earned her Master of Social Work degree from Fordham University. She combines her phychotherapy practice with seven years experience as a doula to create a unique expertise with individuals and couples preparing and/or deaing with pre and post pregnancy issues. Her distinctive practice includes home based therapy sessions when office visists are not feasible. In addition, Alisa works in the creative arena, providing therapy for muscians through The Jazz Foundation of America. Alisa maintains a private practice in Manhattan's Upper West Side.
FEES ARE PAYABLE DIRECTLY TO THE THERAPIST.
For rates for regular sessions, and for sessions outside New York City, please enquire.
Categories: New Mom, Postpartum Sex, Post Natal Depression
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