|Posted on April 30, 2013 at 12:55 AM|
When I was 5 years old, and my sister 3 and my brother just 1, BOTH my parents moved to England, UK, leaving us in Sri Lanka with relatives and Nannies. During the five years my parents were away, 2 of us were hospitalized at 2 different hospitals. We were without either parents and we were just fine! When I became a Mom myself this is when I asked my Mom how she could leave her babies and go. Her response was that was what it took to keep our family together in the long term and the necessary sacrifices that had to be made. Her sacrifices paid off as she continued to work until her retirement and beyond and has always been a strong advocate for working women. You might wonder whether being away to work from her children made it hard for her to bond with her children, especially, my brother who was just a year old when she left. Today, out of the 3 of us, he is probably, the closest to her, taking her on vacations and being there for her for everythig since my Dad passed away 10 year ago So, why make working women feel guilty?
How often do you hear about Moms feeling torn between family and work? Since when was it a universally accepted notion for women to give up their passions, ambitions or interests after giving birth? Victoria Beckham has been quoted as saying she often feels pangs of guilt over her work schedule and is often torn between working and and her family.
The fashion designer has confessed that she is a complete workaholic and finds it difficult as a working mum to juggle time with her hubby David, three boys Brooklyn, Romeo, Cruz and her daughter Harper.
''As a working mum you feel guilty, you feel torn. That's the biggest challenge, it's a tough thing,'' she told Elle magazine.
I have met many professional women who have taken a step back from their career to stay at home and raise children, enabling their spouse or partner to focus on bringing the bread home. After many years of not working, these women will struggle to get back into the working world as they would be competing with those with more experience and they might need to re-train or gain new skills to re-enter the work force. However, these stay at home Moms are guilt free as they can say they were there to witness every milestone, every step their baby took to being able to get actively involved with the PTA and volunteer many, many hours to get involved with focusing on your child's education and be the hockey Mom and the soccer Mom all together:)
Then you have the working Moms, vast majority who will hire help whether it is in the form of a day care or a Babysitter/Nanny in order to return to work after having a baby. Working Moms are often torn about the amount of time they spend at work away from their children. You rarely hear about working Dads feeling the same way and the wider public seems to expect Dads to work late, to be away for that weekend to unwind playing golf or to be away on that 3rd busines trip in the same month because he is the 'man':)
It is fascinating and annoying that in the 21st Century, there is a huge disparity in our Western society regarding the role of a woman after doing one of the greatest jobs of all : giving birth:)
My grand mother was a working Mom as was my own Mom. Coming from a family of working women and even non working women who have hired help with childcare, I have always been encouraged to follow my passions, my ambitions and always expected to be the best in what ever I choose to do in life. As a result, I have hired help with childcare and was not made to feel guilty about hiring help and it has only made me a happier Mom. Hiring help with my twins boys from infancy helped me to give them freshly cooked meals 3 times a day, to work, to get them the level of exercise they needed as opposed to sticking them in front of the TV:) I have also always made time for my girl friends, to get my spa treatments and most importantly, SLEEP!
What ever path you choose after having a baby, whether it is to stay at home or to go back to work, neither will result in your children not succeeding or suffering provided YOU as their parent being happy.
Just had a baby and thinking about childcare options? Daycare versus Nanny or part time help? Contact us at [email protected] and book an Consultation to help you figure our all your options!
Are you a working Mom and do you feel guilty?