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Herminia Ibarra wrote about this in her Sunday, January 22, 2012 NY Times article titled, Her Key To Efficiency: Arrive Late, Leave Early. She speaks about the challenges of trying to maintain a job while trying to be an available parent.

This is all about managing stress – the stress that arises when we are stretched too thin and we feel we have to be all things for all people and circumstances. Ms. Ibarra did not give up her job but she found a way to reduce the time she spends at her office – yes a luxury but worth investigating. She now goes in to work later so that she can take her son to school and she leaves early so that she can help him with his homework. Later in the evening she completes her office work from the day. This new routine enables her to feel that she is more present for the people she loves and for the tasks that require her attention.

We often feel the only way to live up to today’s expectations of managing everything is to work harder and find ways to cut back in other areas. All too often the sacrifice is our children and partners. We explain the situation to them and they understand and so for a while everything feels ok, even though we are exhausted. This can lead to an uncertain sense of security as the pressure to be productive and everywhere at the same time mounts and becomes overwhelming.

Ms. Ibarra cites a study done by Dr. Erin Reid of Harvard in which she discovered three separate categories of professional men – those who subscribe to the traditional model of having a wife at home to hold everything together, those that do not abide by tradition and are looking to change careers and a third group that manages to reduce hours at the office which enables them to spend more time with their families. Interestingly, this third group of men were not vocal about this strategy so as to insure that their careers were not jeopardized.

Ms. Ibarra states, “women bear the brunt of today’s ‘extreme job’ work culture” and she cites Louise Marie Roth who suggests that fathers seem to be more adept at creating an unconventional schedule than women.

Both women and men feel pressure to work the same amount of time or more as before having children but women seem to struggle more than men to find ways to ease their stress levels. Before your life becomes a tinder box of tension and stress, sit down with your partner, a trusted friend or your therapist and plot out your daily responsibilities. Talk to colleagues and possibly your employer to see if there is a way to accommodate the needs of a new family and work so that they can be better balanced.

Do you feel like you are constantly behind what you feel you have to do every day? Do you feel like your partner is not pulling  his or her weight and you are left with too much to do? When one is so stressed out, it is hard to find the tools to achieve all you want to achieve or juggle. Having a Consultation with a results driven therapist specialising in working with parents trying to juggle it all can enable you to get the tools to achieve a work-life balance. Do not wait until everything looks and feels like it is all unmanageable and you are out of control or out of options. Reach out to our therapist, Alisa, who has her own practice in Manhattan and protect your sanity and the well being of your family and relationships before it is too late.

Alisa can see you at her private practice in Manhattan or make a home visit at your convenience.

Alisa Hafkin, LCSW

Alisa works with individuals, who are experiencing difficulty with depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, work and interpersonal conflicts, all within the context of the conception, pregnancy and the post-partum period. She says how you feel about your self, your life, your relationships and your pursuits can drastically change when trying to conceive, during pregnancy and after delivery.

Alisa's expertise with individuals & couples during their childbearing years developed from over seven years experience as a doula (teacher, guide, caregiver for pre & post partum families). Forming a trusting bond during this vulnerable time period enables Alisa to help people understand and cope with the feelings such as powerlessness while undergoing fertility treatments, anxiety about the future during pregnancy, helplessness when dealing with a newborn and confusion about relationships and roles.

Alisa says many individuals and couples struggle with powerful emotions that emerge during this time in their lives. She says if you feel sad, over whlemed, confused, angry, stuck or afraid, you may need help dealing with this significant change in your life. Together, with Alisa, you CAN uncover your personal resources that will provide you with feelings of competence and insight as you progress through this period in your life.

To book an appointment to have a 'chat' with the lovely Alisa, please e-mail Alisa@momtomomsadvisor.com. Please give a contact number and a convenient time to return the call.

BIO

Alisa earned her Master of Social Work degree from Fordham University. She combines her phychotherapy practice with seven years experience as a doula to create a unique expertise with individuals and couples preparing and/or deaing with pre and post pregnancy issues. Her distinctive practice includes home based therapy sessions when office visists are not feasible. In addition, Alisa works in the creative arena, providing therapy for muscians through The Jazz Foundation of America. Alisa maintains a private practice in Manhattan's Upper West Side.

FEES ARE PAYABLE DIRECTLY TO THE THERAPIST.