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Parents, Depression in you can harm your child!

Tue, 22 May 2012 04:50:00 +0000

First published in a Parenting Blog in the Bright Mountain Blogs :

In a recent article in the New York Times, Perri Klass, MD says it is vital to check up on the parent’s mental health in the first months of a baby’s life. Unlike in most other first world Nations, no specific national strategies, plans, or policies are in place to encourage new mothers to obtain postpartum health care in the United States! In addition, the United States remains one of three countries that don’t mandate paid maternity leave

One of these things is not like the others: Mongolia, Chad, Mali, Cuba and the United States. if you guessed the United States, you’re right—but not for the reason you’d expect. What sets us apart from the others isn’t our economic power or global political clout, but rather our lack of universal paid leave for new mothers, offered by 178 nations around the world, including some of the poorest.

“The U.S. is the only high-income nation not to have paid maternity leave, while almost all middle- and low-income countries offer it, too,” says Jody Heymann, founding director of McGill University’s Institute for Health and Social Policy and author of Raising the Global Floor: Dismantling the Myth That We Can’t Afford Good Working Conditions for Everyone.

Many traditional cultures have new mothers rest for 40 days after giving birth. The new mother and baby are cared for, feed and, in some cases, massaged daily after birth. Special foods are prepared to encourage healing and restoration, as well as good milk.

And even as these cultures develop, they are finding ways of integrating traditional ways into more modern practices. For example some Chinese women are again adopting the policy of confinement after birth. They hire special "confinement ladies" to help them after the baby is born. In certain developed countries, this kind of postpartum care is paid for by the government.

In the United States, new parents can hire postpartum doulas and baby nurses, but at $25.00 to $60.00 an hour, these caregivers are often a premium for most new parents. So women are left largely on their own or with limited family resources for their short recovery period. And often the father is left out of it all together as paternity leave is a very new concept in the American workplace.

Lack of qualified post partum care in combination with lack of maternity leave increases the risks of depression in new parents as before they are physically and emotionally adjusted to the role of being a parent, they are back at work

Mom to Moms Advisor works with Alisa, a Licensed Clinical Social worker and herself a parent, whom has submitted her professional opinion on this very important topic of ensuring new parents take adequate steps to take care of themselves as otherwise, she says, the ones who will suffer the most will be the children.

This is what Alisa has to say:

“Very often people who are depressed don't seek the care they need.” A most important statement made by Dr. William Beardslee, professor of child psychiatry at Harvard Medical School in a May 8, 2012 New York Times article. Dr. Beardslee went on to say that “untreated, unrecognized parental depression can lead to negative consequences for kids ranging from poor school performance to increased visits to the emergency room to poorer peer relationships and adolescent depression.”

Strong statements indeed but necessary to educate parents on the consequences of not treating their depression.

Imagine a new born baby, dependent on his primary parent to convey an emotional road map through life. First impressions are so significant as they create the environment for a path of emotional well being or anxiety. We all have times when we feel a little sad or blue and babies are able to withstand short periods of exposure to that. Unfortunately, ongoing exposure to depression can be detrimental in the long run. The New York Times article explains how “children with a depressed parent are themselves more likely to manifest symptoms of depression, research shows, along with other psychiatric problems and behavior issues. They are more likely to make visits to the emergency room and more likely to be injured.”

New parents need more information and guidance on what to look for. The need is growing for more general practitioners and pediatricians to screen for depression and take the initiative to encourage parents to seek help. There is no positive side to being stoic when feeling depressed. You think you can disguise your depression but babies are acutely aware of their care giver's emotional state. A baby needs to feel safe and that is not an easy task for them when a parent is anxious or depressed. Ask your doctor for help if you are experiencing difficulty coping with the pressures that come with caring for a a new born. It is the best thing you can do for yourself and for your baby's future emotional health.

Alisa Hafkin, LCSW

Alisa works with individuals, who are experiencing difficulty with depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, work and interpersonal conflicts, all within the context of the conception, pregnancy and the post-partum period. She says how you feel about your self, your life, your relationships and your pursuits can drastically change when trying to conceive, during pregnancy and after delivery.

Alisa's expertise with individuals & couples during their childbearing years developed from over seven years experience as a doula (teacher, guide, caregiver for pre & post partum families). Forming a trusting bond during this vulnerable time period enables Alisa to help people understand and cope with the feelings such as powerlessness while undergoing fertility treatments, anxiety about the future during pregnancy, helplessness when dealing with a newborn and confusion about relationships and roles.

Alisa says many individuals and couples struggle with powerful emotions that emerge during this time in their lives. She says if you feel sad, over whelmed, confused, angry, stuck or afraid, you may need help dealing with this significant change in your life. Together, with Alisa, you CAN uncover your personal resources that will provide you with feelings of competence and insight as you progress through this period in your life.

To book an appointment to have a 'chat' with the lovely Alisa, please e-mail Alisa@momtomomsadvisor.com. Please give a contact number and a convenient time to return the call.

BIO

Alisa earned her Master of Social Work degree from Fordham University. She combines her phychotherapy practice with seven years experience as a doula to create a unique expertise with individuals and couples preparing and/or deaing with pre and post pregnancy issues. Her distinctive practice includes home based therapy sessions when office visists are not feasible. In addition, Alisa works in the creative arena, providing therapy for muscians through The Jazz Foundation of America. Alisa maintains a private practice in Manhattan's Upper West Side.

Post Mother's Day thoughts from Moms

Tue, 15 May 2012 13:20:00 +0000

What did Mothers Day mean to you? Did you get what you expected? When I was growing up, Mothers Day did not exist. I was brought up to show respect and appreciation to my Mother every minute, every day, although it does not mean I did:) Ofcourse on her Birthday, my Father ensured a card full of phrases to make her feel special was given and as we got older, we saved our own gifts of cash or income from our weekend jobs to buy her something we can afford. Since I have become a Mother, myself, now there is 'Mothers Day'.
I got to know Mothers day was approaching this year as my two 6 year old sons started class projects on working on making publications or cards for Mothers Day. Then I wondered what exciting activities we are going do together to celebrate Mothers Day. I automatically knew my partner and husband of 17 years is already stressing about how to get up at 6 am on Sunday to take the boys for Ice Hockey and then to have a plan to entertain me as well as take care of the boys:)

What did I get for Mother's Day? I went back to bed after having breakfast and got up leisurely to have a long shower while my husband took care of our children, cleaned the kitchen and tidied up. We then decided to go to a low key Restaurant which does not charge different rates because it was 'Mother's Day'. The Restaurant was not packed and the children thoroughly enjoyed taking their time to sample the variety of dishes and I guess my husband was breathing a sigh of relief at this point noting he has saved $$$ by not being expected to go to a Steak House on Mother's Day with two high energy twin boys who are still learning to eat in a formal setting without wrecking the decor in the process:)

After lunch, my husband and the boys went out on their bikes and rode all the way from the Upper West Side of Manhattan to South Ferry and back while I 'rested';) By 5 pm, I felt so rejuvenated and felt like the luckiest Mom alive to have been given gifts of 'sleep', and 'rest' for a whole day:)

I asked other Moms what theor 'post Mothers Day' thought were and here is what they had to say :

"It doesn't mean anything to me other than hallmark and flower shop businesses make a boat load of money. I feel the same way about valentines day!!!!! My husband, children and I don't need a fake "holiday" to appreciate each other. We try to do that each and every day. That's what makes a strong marriage and family." - Stay at home Mom to 3 - New York City

"I am very blessed, I remind myself regularly. This Mother's Day I had the joy of spending the day with my mother, Joy, and my three beautiful children. I also had the pleasure of lunching with my ex-husband. Yes, I said pleasure and ex-husband in the same sentence. I have what most will call the best divorce ever. My ex and I get along brilliantly because we recognize that is what is important for our children. I am very blessed. If Mother's Day happens to fall on a weekend the kids are with their Dad, which seems to be every year, we always have lunch together and turn it into a transfer of the children as well since I love to put my little ones to bed on this very special day. This year was no different. We met at "our" Chinese restaurant on the Upper West Side of Manhattan for Dim Sum. The boys picked out two beautiful bracelets for me from a funky shop in Brooklyn (see image).

The only help from their father was at the register (he swears!) As our peaceful and yummy lunch ended and the boys and I went off smiling one way and their father grinning another, I realized yet again, how truly blessed I am.

I hope no matter what your family looks like that you enjoyed as blessed a day as I did. Stay well." - Julie Stampler, Mom to 3 and Founder of Totem Tamers

http://totemtamers.com/

"This Mother's day I shared things my mother taught me. I find it extraordinary that my mom who was always a stay-at-home mom, taking a weekly "salary" from my father, silently taught my sister and I to be financially independent, never relying on a man and hard working successful women in business today."

http://www.inrshoes.com/conversation/

Marisa Santoro, In Our Shoes -www.InRShoes.com.Celebrating and supporting working women who Juggle it ALL. Seminar leader, Writer, IT executive at a Wall Street brokerage and a single working mother.

What is important is teaching our children to respect their elders at all times and to teach them good manners so that they learn to show their appreciation to the person as opposed to expect them to lavish us with extravagance on just ONE day:)

All comments are welcome and please feel free to express your opinion and your experience of Mothers Day!

Hear from the SUPER Dad running the Biggest Network of parents of Multiples in the World!

Wed, 22 Feb 2012 13:45:00 +0000

Mom to Moms is always on the lookout for products and services which will empower parents and we are thrilled to have interviewed Keith Reed, CEO of Twins and Multiple Births Association. The Twins and Multiple Births Association (Tamba) is a charity set up by parents of twins, triplets and higher multiples and interested professionals. Keith is a father to two young children runs the biggest network of parents with multiple births in the world with a membership of 10,000 families from the UK. About 11,000 women a year in England and Wales give birth to twins, triplets or, more rarely, four babies or more simultaneously. Multiple births account for 3% of the 700,000 live births a year in the UK.

M2M :What led you to join TAMBA?

Keith : My peer group all started getting pregnant around the same time (when we were in our 30s) and a number had twins. They were members of Tamba and knew that I had a campaigning background and suggested I might like to help the charity. Being instinctively nosey, I looked into everything about multiples and was shocked to see the higher risks in pregnancy and birth, the difficulties families faced during the early years and general lack of support. I wanted to make a difference and applied for the job.

M2M: Apart from being the CEO to TAMBA and raising a young family, you are also a honorary researcher at Birmingham University and reviewer for the Cochrane Pregnancy and Childbirth group and have contributed to publications on Multiple Pregnacy, Neonatal Care, Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome and research into the educational and financial issues associated with multiple births. How do you do it all?

Keith: In my spare time, I’m a school governor and committee member of a local residents’ association. I don’t have much time for watching television but that’s a good thing.

M2M :You have worked tirelessly, having made so many changes to the well being of your members for almost 5 years. When you look back, what do you feel is the biggest change you have made for families of multiples in the UK?

Keith : I’m not being falsely modest but there are a team of 12 part time members of staff, 100s of volunteers and 1000s of supporters giving their time effort and money for the cause. Together, we’ve helped prepare over 20,000 expectant parents with free guides and classes on what to expect both in terms of the challenges and the positives. Our latest research shows that there are 1000s of happier more contented families out there as a result of our efforts.

M2M : What does TAMBA offer those expecting multiples in the UK? Are there classes locally across the Kingdom?

Keith :Yes, we keep building the network year on year. We are testing feeding classes in the coming months too.

M2M : What are the benefits of joining TAMBA?

Keith :Fundamentally you can help us to campaign, undertake research and support other families. Our families also can access a huge range of free guides, videos and discounts to a range of store and then there is our every popular, evidence based, quarterly magazine Multiple Matters.

M2M :Most pregnancies are successful and parents can look forward to having their family completed with two or more to complete their family. However, it is inevitable some of these pregnancies end in a loss. How can TAMBA help those who have experienced a loss or bereavement?

Keith : We have a dedicated and trained bereavement support group, with free guides, telephone based bereavement befrienders and active facebook page.

M2M :You do not have twins yourself, but two children of separate ages. Do you get asked how YOU know what it is like to have twins or triplets and what would you say?!

Keith : It’s not been a big deal. Even within families of multiples, the differences between the experiences can be enormous. It means I have to base all my decisions and views on the research and keep checking in with our supporters to ensure we are doing the right thing.

M2M : How did your life change after becoming a Dad for the first time? Was it different second time around?

I had to grow up when my first child was born and it meant being less selfish. It was a continuum with the second and tiredness became the norm.

M2M : If you can offer a new parent one piece of advice, what would it be?

Prepare yourself for the journey ahead rather then trying to pick everything up as you go along.

M2M : Mom to Moms Advisor was founded by a member of TAMBA, after her move to Manhattan with infant twins and a British Nanny. Tell us what you think about us!

Keith : Always supportive and always helpful.

You can REGISTER FREE with TAMBA from anywhere in the world and get immediate support and invaluable information regarding what you need to know when you are expecting twins or more!!! Join now!

Why Register?

Download their FREE Healthy Multiple Pregnancy, Neonatal Care & Twin-To-Twin Guides Download our full range of guides and factsheets for FREE. These include: Healthy Multiple Pregnancy, Neonatal Care, Twin-To-Twin, Breastfeeding, Expecting more than one, plus dozens more, or watch our specialist dvds online -information you can trust 24:7 (worth over £100 where sold)

Order 1 hard copy of the above guides for FREE (UK Only) Order 1 hard copy of the first three guides listed above for FREE

Access to view message board for 1 month Full access to view & post on Tamba message board

Receive FREE monthly Tamba Talk e newsletter

Why Join? It will be a life saver as you will connect with other parents expecting multiples and will make friends for a lifetime!

Great savings with over 100 companies including Clarks, Mothercare & JoJoMamanBebe (money off all year round on the things you need)

Receive quarterly Multiple Matters magazine (worth £12 where sold)

Exclusive access to Tamba's unique online buggy guide and Schools Admissions & Appeals Pack

Priority invitations to Family Days, Conferences & Courses

Free access to support groups and consultants who specialise in multiple births.

Your donation goes towards our campaigns, research & support services which save and improve lives.

All this for just £2.25 per month

Top 5 Turn Offs of those applying to work as a Nanny!

Mon, 13 Feb 2012 19:15:00 +0000

Screening and interviewing potential candidates to work for you as a Nanny can be a daunting task. Mom to Moms has met in person 1000s of applicants who apply to work as a Nanny. We schedule to meet in advance 15-20 candidates per day. Out of this pool, we might actually only meet a fraction at the scheduled time and only a handful if any might be successful at following through a full interview with us. Following are our top 5 reasons why applicants fail to proceed with us, sometimes, even before we have met them!;)

1)LATE! We give sufficient notice to applicants before agreeing on a mutually convenient date and a time to meet. When an applicant arrives late, it gives the impression the applicant is not organized or will not be punctual.

2)LOST! We often get calls from applicants close to the time of the appointment to meet them stating they are lost and are not sure how to find our location:roll: We give a valid address with our zip code and smart applicants will use google maps to find directions prior to leaving their home and arrive a few minutes earliar than expected. By getting lost, provided the correct address has been given says the applicant is casual in her approach to business.

3)NO ID!! We state very clearly to each applicant in writing we need to verify their identity and ensure they are authorised to work in the country in which they wish to work. However, candidates still come along and say, simply they have forgotten their ID or produce photo copies. Considering it is the LAW to carry ID around with you at all times in the US, we are often baffled how applicants can FORGET their ID:roll:

4)NAILS LONGER THAN THEIR HAIR : We see nails such as the ones in the image below and wonder how these applicants can wipe themselves, never mind changing a diaper or assist with food preparation safely:D

5) PREVIOUS EMPLOYERS HAVE ALL EITHER MOVED, DECEASED OR NOT CONTACTABLE : We have heard excuses from employers have moved or they are no longer living or have lost contact details. Any serious job seeker will be armed with multiple names to use to get not only to verify previous childcare experience, but also have a bunch of people to call for character references and will in fact assist us in locating their previous employers to verify they have in fact held any job at all and have been nothing but hard working, consciencious caregivers!:D

Mom to Moms head hunts the best fit for Families and our Applicants. For more information, please e-mail Chini@momtomomsadvisor.com and we look forward to assisting you:)

Do you work over time regularly? Could you be Depressed?

Tue, 07 Feb 2012 21:20:00 +0000

You've just had a baby and you reach for the fifteenth diaper of the night and you realize there are only two left in the bag!!! What? You ask yourself, “how did we use so many in such a short amount of time”? Welcome to the world of newborns and the first lesson in money and babies. You rush out to buy more diapers and while at Duane Reade or Rite Aid you decide you should probably get some more wipes and diaper rash ointment, bringing your total at the cash register to $50!

Many parents do a great job of creating a budget before their baby is born but the reality of new babies is that they cost a ton. This realization highlights the need to get back to work and bring in as much income as possible. New parents often go back to work and try to uphold the same schedule as before they had children, possibly leading to fatigue, irritability and depression.

In a February 7, 2012 NY Times article titled, “Long work hours can cause depression”, Anahad O'Connor cites the correlation between working 11 hour days or more and depression. Those individuals who routinely work such long hours double their risk of becoming depressed. Another study found “higher levels of anxiety and depression in those who put in the most overtime”.

Parents of newborns may risk experiencing depression not only because they have a new sense of urgency to provide for their children but also because the demands of work and parenting are intense and unrelenting. As a new parent you don't have to be putting in 11 hour days to feel depressed. Don't forget, you are now working almost 24 hours a day and it doesn't stop on the weekends. Be mindful of how you feel and don't keep it to yourself. Sometimes it takes talking to someone to get a different perspective or ideas on how to make changes to relieve the pressure. It won't do you or your baby any good if you try to just push through your depression on your own.

Written by Alisa Hafkin, LCSW

Being a new Parent can be very frightening and isolating. Our therapist, Alisa will be able to make a visit to your home for a 'good chat' - confidentially. Alisa welcomes babies into her private practice too. Alisa is a qualified post partum doula, qualified LCSW, Mom to a son and daughter aged 18 and 21 and specialises in the issues realted to fertility, pregnancy and post-partum.

Alisa works with individuals, who are experiencing difficulty with depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, work and interpersonal conflicts, all within the context of the conception, pregnancy and the post-partum period. She says how you feel about your self, your life, your relationships and your pursuits can drastically change when trying to conceive, during pregnancy and after delivery.

Alisa says many individuals and couples struggle with powerful emotions that emerge during this time in their lives. She says if you feel sad, over whlemed, confused, angry, stuck or afraid, you may need help dealing with this significant change in your life. Together, with Alisa, you CAN uncover your personal resources that will provide you with feelings of competence and insight as you progress through this period in your life:)

To book an appointment to have a 'chat' with the lovely Alisa, please e-mail Alisa@momtomomsadvisor.com. Please give a contact number and a convenient time to return the call.

BIO

The Kindergarten Shuffle - Interview with Director and SUPER Dad Douglas Morse

Thu, 26 Jan 2012 04:10:00 +0000

Is your toddler ready for Kindergarten? In Manhattan, a parent has a wide range of options - public/private or gifted and talented? So, you moved to a great neighborhood years ago assuming since you are zoned to the best schools, your child would get one? Not quite so, getting a Kindergarten spot involves a process, like everything else in Manhattan. Mom to Moms is always on the look out for a product or service that would empower parents and we recommend you check out this movie 'The Kindergarten Shuffle' BEFORE you go through the process of securing a Kindergarten spot for your child:)

The Kindergarten Shuffle is an entertaining and informative look at the New York City Kindergarten Process.

We interviewd the Dad behind the movie, Douglas Morse, a professor at The New School in the department of Media Studies and Film.

Douglas Morse is a professor at The New School in the department of Media Studies and Film. He has directed six feature films including three adaptations of classical work. His film, The Kindergarten Shuffle was made after surviving the grueling year of finding a kindergarten for his son in New York City.

Douglas Morse and his wife with their son, Zeke

How did life change for you after becoming a Dad?

I remember going everywhere with Zeke. He was either wrapped close to my chest in a baby Bjorn or on my back in an Ergo carrier. As he got older, days took on their own rhythm with half days of pre-school followed by trips to the Museum of Natural History, time in one of various parks near our home and the usual routine of feeding, bathing, teaching and playing. The rhythm of your life becomes the rhythm of the child, and now of course including the demands of school.

You are an established producer and has produced many moves and continue to produce more. How do you, as the main caregiver for your son juggle your work commitments with the needs of your son?

Fortunately, my wife has a full time job as an English professor – yet her schedule, especially in the summer, has flexibility. Filmmaking, surprisingly, is also flexible. Writing, pre-production planning and post-production are surely the most time consuming aspects and take many, many months but are not schedule dependent. I have directed four films since Zeke was born and the most recent, an adaptation of The Jew of Malta was 16 days of shooting. For those 16 days, my time is completely committed. Outside of that, I can juggle. Pre-production and post production just take longer than they normally would.

Traditionally, society expects and accept a Mom to be the stay at home parent or work at home parent. Have you felt any stigma around you being the main caregiver for your son?

When we lived in Washington Heights, I found a community of stay-at-home dads. Many of us had outside pursuits in the arts, which we were able to maintain to some degree. A friend of mine directed a film, The Evolution of Dad that explores this subject. In fact, The Kindergarten Shuffle was supposed to feature three stay at home dads to examine this phenomenon. As I was writing, casting, and creating the film two of the main characters became women – including the one that was most autobiographical.

What led you to produce The Kindergarten Shuffle?

I was standing in the playground thinking ‘what next?’ Filmmakers I admired, Fellini or Truffaut, made very personal films about their tumultuous personal lives. I thought that nothing so dramatic had happened. Then I realized the previous year of trying to find a kindergarten for our son was the most traumatic, dramatic, and stressful experiences we had been through in a long time. Our experiences, and those of my friends, would be a great subject for a movie and perhaps give parents insight into the very, very difficult process.

In the following deleted clip, a Dad talks about giving a false address to secure a Kindergarten spot

Why should every parent applying for a Kindergarten spot in Manhattan watch 'The Kindergarten Shuffle'?

If there is one message in the movie, it’s that you have to explore every possible educational option for your child. You have to research, visit schools, and work with your spouse and child on finding the best fit. The movie, in a funny and moving way, shows parents going through the process. From local public schools, independent schools, and specialized programs such as the G&T, the movie is a great way to get an overview of the process. I also think it’s just a good story that even people who don’t have kids will enjoy.

From where can you buy The Kindergarten Shuffle?

It’s easiest to get it from my website. www.kindergartenshuffle.com I’ve also held screenings at various schools for informational events and fundraisers. People can contact me through my website.

Are you available to be hired by families to produce amazing footage of birthday parties and family celebrations as well as marketing productions for small businesses? What other services do you offer?

Sure. I’ve directed music films about Superspies from Outer Space (on my website), industrials about chemical Test Kits, and shot weddings and other events. It’s fun to get out of the house and do independent projects. I can be contacted through my website www.grandfatherfilms.com

What has been the greatest challenge to date for you in becoming a Dad?

It’s not surprising that as professors, education is at the forefront in our household. Our son excels in school and understanding his needs as an accelerated learner and meeting those challenges has been one of the greatest challenges. It’s one topic we explore in The Kindergarten Shuffle. He now is in an accelerated program at NEST+m

If you can give new parents of sons one piece of advice, what would it be?

I think it’s important that parents sleep with their child in the first year or two and that moms breast-feed. These things create a bond and a feeling of safety that will greatly increase a child’s independence later on. Breast feeding, from a health point of view, is also much better for mom and baby.

Tell us what you think about Mom to Moms Advisor and their dynamic team of professionals offering innovative and state of the art services to parents?

I was really impressed with your ability to truly match a family with a qualified Nanny and I’m intrigued with the other family support you offer.

Mom to Moms talks about Kindergarten Admissions in Manhattan

Work, Home, Partner, Children and just a few more things!

Tue, 24 Jan 2012 03:10:00 +0000

When I was in elementary school, in the late 1970s, my parents were not part of the regular social network at school nor were they needed as such to spend any time participating at school. Move forward to 2012 and an article in the NY Times written by a working Mom discusses the dilemmas working Moms face as it apears time spent in the school grounds is more than bonding with your own child - it is about how one could keep one step ahead of the rat race in parenting in today's world of parenting:roll:

In previous generations, there were the annual sports meets and annual parent teacher conferences in the evenings so that working parents can attend without taking time off work. In schools now there are more class trips, excursions, projects, class parties and fund raising events with a zillion committees to choose from:roll:

The article states the current work structure originated from the time when society expected one working parent household and this model is no longer applicable to today's family life as there are more two working parent households than ever before.

Our Therapist, Alisa Hafkin, LCSW asks then how do parents manage work, home life, partnerships and children all at the same time without losing their minds and their hair?

Herminia Ibarra wrote about this in her Sunday, January 22, 2012 NY Times article titled, Her Key To Efficiency: Arrive Late, Leave Early. She speaks about the challenges of trying to maintain a job while trying to be an available parent.

This is all about managing stress – the stress that arises when we are stretched too thin and we feel we have to be all things for all people and circumstances. Ms. Ibarra did not give up her job but she found a way to reduce the time she spends at her office – yes a luxury but worth investigating. She now goes in to work later so that she can take her son to school and she leaves early so that she can help him with his homework. Later in the evening she completes her office work from the day. This new routine enables her to feel that she is more present for the people she loves and for the tasks that require her attention.

We often feel the only way to live up to today’s expectations of managing everything is to work harder and find ways to cut back in other areas. All too often the sacrifice is our children and partners. We explain the situation to them and they understand and so for a while everything feels ok, even though we are exhausted. This can lead to an uncertain sense of security as the pressure to be productive and everywhere at the same time mounts and becomes overwhelming.

Ms. Ibarra cites a study done by Dr. Erin Reid of Harvard in which she discovered three separate categories of professional men – those who subscribe to the traditional model of having a wife at home to hold everything together, those that do not abide by tradition and are looking to change careers and a third group that manages to reduce hours at the office which enables them to spend more time with their families. Interestingly, this third group of men were not vocal about this strategy so as to insure that their careers were not jeopardized.

Ms. Ibarra states, “women bear the brunt of today’s ‘extreme job’ work culture” and she cites Louise Marie Roth who suggests that fathers seem to be more adept at creating an unconventional schedule than women.

Both women and men feel pressure to work the same amount of time or more as before having children but women seem to struggle more than men to find ways to ease their stress levels. Before your life becomes a tinder box of tension and stress, sit down with your partner, a trusted friend or your therapist and plot out your daily responsibilities. Talk to colleagues and possibly your employer to see if there is a way to accommodate the needs of a new family and work so that they can be better balanced.

Do you feel like you are constantly behind what you feel you have to do every day? Do you feel like your partner is not pulling his or her weight and you are left with too much to do? When one is so stressed out, it is hard to find the tools to achieve all you want to achieve or juggle. Having a Consultation with a results driven therapist specialising in working with parents trying to juggle it all can enable you to get the tools to achieve a work-life balance. Do not wait until everything looks and feels like it is all unmanageable and you are out of control or out of options. Reach out to our therapist, Alisa, who has her own practice in Manhattan and protect your sanity and the well being of your family and relationships before it is too late.

Alisa can see you at her private practice in Manhattan or make a home visit at your convenience.

Alisa Hafkin, LCSW

Alisa works with individuals, who are experiencing difficulty with depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, work and interpersonal conflicts, all within the context of the conception, pregnancy and the post-partum period. She says how you feel about your self, your life, your relationships and your pursuits can drastically change when trying to conceive, during pregnancy and after delivery.

To book an appointment to have a 'chat' with the lovely Alisa, please e-mail Alisa@momtomomsadvisor.com. Please give a contact number and a convenient time to return the call.

BIO

FEES ARE PAYABLE DIRECTLY TO THE THERAPIST.

The Emotional Toll on Working Parents

Tue, 17 Jan 2012 18:45:00 +0000

With both parents working more and more hours, out of necessity rather than choice and with day care centres now offering 24/7 care for our children puts a lot of pressue on today's working parents. Forty percent of the American labor force now works some form of nonstandard hours, including evenings, nights, weekends and early mornings, according to Harriet B. Presser, a professor of sociology at the University of Maryland.

In an article in the New York Time article, “Day Care Centers Adapt to Round-the-Clock Demand”, Sabrina Tavernise writes about the need for working parents in today’s economy to have increased babysitting options because traditional 9-6 jobs are not necessarily the norm any more. The article talks about how care giving centers are providing babysitting for all hours so that parents who work odd hours can feel assured that their children are taken care of and safe.

Bedtime at ABC & Me Childcare in Elyria, Ohio, which is open 24 hours a day. While overnight care is still relatively rare, evening hours are not unusual.

We asked out therapist what she thought about the impact of having both parents on working harder than ever has on themselves and this is what Alisa Hafkin, LCSW has to say.

It is wonderful to see that the demand for more care giving is being met by these centers but the article did not discuss the toll this takes on relationships with children, partners and on one’s self. The economy of today has changed drastically over the past generation, making it extremely difficult for many parents to make ends meet with a traditional daytime job. The loss of time spent with children and partners may contribute to increased stress and confusion, so it is important to find ways to make time spent together as stress free as possible.

As parents find themselves under the gun more and more to maintain a household, it becomes increasingly important to watch for signs of stress, depression, excess fatigue, appetite and sleep changes, anger and anxiety.

There are no easy answers to the growing concerns about how to survive economically but there are ways to help cope, including seeking help when the pressure becomes unmanageable. Help comes in many forms including therapy, exercise, acupuncture, diet, learning how to communicate more easily and many more strategies. It doesn’t take much to relieve some of the pressure and with support, managing an odd hours job or working two jobs can feel less of a burden for you and your family.

Do not wait until everything looks and feels like it is all unmanageable and you are out of control or out of options. Reach out to our therapist, Alisa, who has her own practice in Manhattan and protect your sanity and the well being of your family and relationships before it is too late.

Alisa Hafkin, LCSW

Alisa works with individuals, who are experiencing difficulty with depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, work and interpersonal conflicts, all within the context of the conception, pregnancy and the post-partum period. She says how you feel about your self, your life, your relationships and your pursuits can drastically change when trying to conceive, during pregnancy and after delivery.

To book an appointment to have a 'chat' with the lovely Alisa, please e-mail Alisa@momtomomsadvisor.com. Please give a contact number and a convenient time to return the call.

BIO

Alisa earned her Master of Social Work degree from Fordham University. She combines her phychotherapy practice with seven years experience as a doula to create a unique expertise with individuals and couples preparing and/or deaing with pre and post pregnancy issues. Her distinctive practice includes home based therapy sessions when office visists are not feasible. In addition, Alisa works in the creative arena, providing therapy for muscians through The Jazz Foundation of America. Alisa maintains a private practice in Manhattan's Upper West Side.

FEES ARE PAYABLE DIRECTLY TO THE THERAPIST.

Happy new Year! January 2012 Newsletter

Sat, 14 Jan 2012 12:15:00 +0000

Dear Friends and Clients of Mom to Moms,

Happy New Year!!!

Nannies Newborn Care Support Parenting Family Training

Thank you for opening the first ever monthly newsletter of Mom to Moms Advisor! We opened in 2007 to provide a Nanny Search Consultancy service and we have since, in addition have created state of the art, first of its kind services to empower parents.

For the first time in the United States, you can now hire Medically Qualified Nurses versus Baby Nurses to care for your baby and YOU, when you bring YOUR baby homeJ

Just had a Baby? Becoming a parent can be a overwhelming experience, not just to Mom, but Dad too. Not to worry as we offer SUPPORT from a LCSW specializing in working with individuals and couples going through the journey into parenthood and beyond AND we recognize the needs and feelings of a Dad to be as equally important :)

Babies, Toddlers and Children can be demanding, but a child out of sync with sleeping/feeding or one with special needs can put a lot of strain on an already exhausted Mom or Dad. We have SUPER Nanny Nadine, Behavioral Expert to come to your rescueJ

We continue to show professionalism, integrity and the highest level of standards in our work as we really care:)

We have created bite sized videos covering many aspects of Parenting and available to view on our site :

Our blog covers many current topics of interests to families from fertility and beyond.

Our Team

Alisa Nadine

Magdala, Chini and Jane

Check out our services:

-Search for a Nanny or Manny

-Expecting a baby? Book a Medically Qualified Nurse! – Nurse Magdala, RN

-New Mom or Dad? SUPPORT from Alisa, LCSW

-Breast feeding? Dr Jane Weiser on board with 30+ years experience! Lactation Consultant

-Baby orToddler out of control? Hire Super Nanny Nadine to put an end to the challenging behaviors and take control of your parenting!

-Sleep Training, Tantrums, Feeding, Potty Training, Family Training by Nadine,

Behavioral Expert

Website : www.momtomomsadvisor.com

Contact : Info@momtomomsadvisor.com

The Myth of a Baby Nurse - they are NOT Nurses!

Tue, 13 Dec 2011 17:35:00 +0000

My twins were born in London, in the United Kingdom. When I was pregnant and looking at Newborn Care, I found out I can hire a Qualified Maternity Nurse to care for my babies if I wanted to.

I did not hire a Maternity Nurse as I wanted to have a go on my own with my twins and when the twins were close to 10 months, hired a British Nanny to help me. When the twins were around 15 months old, we moved to Manhattan, where I heard the term 'Baby Nurse' for the first time in my life. I then began to meet a lot of parents who have hired Baby Nurses and shared their experiences with me.

If you are resident in the East Coast of America, you are likely to have friends and neighbors who will share with you hiring a Baby Nurse would ease the transition from hospital into your home after delivering a baby or multiples. Automatically when you hear 'Nurse', you already sigh a breath of relief at believing you are getting qualified medical help. Ofcourse, they will do everything related to taking care of your baby's needs and work 24/7, 7 days a week. Baby Nurses recommend you hire their services for 3 months or more. Rates in Manhattan vary from $250+/day for one baby or $350+/day for twins and $450+/day for 7 days a week. You are looking at investing on average for 3 months a small fortune of $30,000+ :roll:

These so called “baby nurses” qualification consists of a three-day course in infant and child health. They have no significant education and are illegally using the protected title of nurse, they are misleading parents and endangering infants They are not nurses as they lack the education an experience of a licensed nurse and should stop deceiving the public and begin portraying themselves as what thy are – baby sitters.

As of July 26, 2007 the New York State Nurse Practice Act reflects the passage of an amendment to Section 6903 forbiding individuals who are not licensed either as a registered professional nurse (RN) or licensed practical nurse (LPN) from portraying themselves as nurses or using the title “nurse” or any abbreviation or reference thereof http://www.nysna.org/images/pdfs/practice/scope/rn_uap_guidelines04.pdf

The “baby nurse” scam uses the reputation of the Nursing Profession to overcharge for babysitting service and to give parents a false sense of security.

One should have the right to earn an honest living but to market oneself as a nurse in any form should require the proper education and licensure. To do otherwise is a violation of the law and a violation of the public’s trust.

Educational Requirements to become a Maternity Nurse:

The educational qualifications can be any or all of the following:

Registered Nursing degree - approximately 4 years

Associate Degree in Nursing - 2 to 3 years in college

Diploma in nursing - 3 years in a nursing training program

Diploma or other in midwifery

Other diploma or degree in related nursing fields.

In the United Kingdom, you can become qualified in maternity nursing if you are a

Registered general nurse (RGN)

Registered Sick Children’s Nurse (RSCN)

Registered Midwife (RM)

Registered Health Visitor (RHV)

Cache Diploma in Nursery Nursing

BTEC and NVQ in Childcare

Maternity Practitioner Award (MNT)

More information on Maternity Nursing in the UK can be found at http://julieannamos.hubpages.com/hub/Maternity--Nursing

Mom to Moms Advisor works to empower parents and give them the tools to do the greatest job in the world - raising our children. After searching for qualified professionals who can offer affordable QUALIFIED help in the United States, we finally have found a Team of Qualified Nurses, who are all licensed in the State of New York City. Our team consists of Dr Jane Weiser (Lactation Consultant), Nurse Magdala Fabre (RN, Newborn Maternal Nurse Consultant) and Janet Swartz (Paediatric Maternity Nurse, RN, BA Psychology and MPA).

More information on the above professionals can be found at http://www.momtomomsadvisor.com/newbornmaternitycarern.htm

Advantages of Hiring a Qualified Maternity Nurse v Baby Nurse :

Expectant and New Parents can have a Consultation via Skype/telephone to discuss specific needs
You do not have to worry about accommodating a stranger in your home 24/7 when you bring your baby home
You can budget hourly or daily to keep your costs to an absolute minimum
You can meet and interview our Maternity Nurses in advance to ensure it is the type of personality that would be compatible with those in your household and YOU::)
You will see the Nursing license and proof of eligibility to work in the United States, so that you can have the assurance your chosen Nurse can be trusted to care for you and your baby:)
You can hire a Maternity Nurse just for a date night or to get much needed time for yourself and you will have a great time knowing you have someone qualified and trustworthy with your little one or two.

Now taking bookings from January 2012 :) Save $$$$$$ and call us today to check availability +1-646-596-6436 and we look forward to hearing from you.

Moms and Dads need time out too!!!

Tue, 06 Dec 2011 04:20:00 +0000

After having a baby or two, life can get tremendously busy. For those who return to work, or work from home, juggling parenting with managing your careers and your personal relationships is a continuous race against time in today's modern fast paced life, whether you are in New York, London or Sydney. A baby takes all your energy and can leave you exhausted. It is then very difficult to make time for YOU, as a parent or caregiver. Parents either tend to put their needs at the bottom of the 'to do list' as the needs of our growing families appears all too time consuming and exhausting or let themselves go:(

Even if it is an hour a week you can have for yourself, whether it is to get a massage or a new hair cut, it can be wonderfully rejuvenating psychologically and physiologically.

Read on about one twin Mommy who got herself a new head of hair::D

After years of perming, colouring, bleaching, straightening and some of it all at the same time over the years(!), my naturally straight, black hair was a processed mess. Below you can see what my hair looked like before my make over at high end Beauty Salon and Spa, Miano Viel Salon and Spa.

As you can see from the picture above, the results of years of not having consistent professional care of my hair which made me feel like I was waking up to a bird nest every morning and if I did not wash it and use a heavy conditioner, by mid morning, I was already feeling dragged down by not my feet, but my hair!!!;)

Recently, I was sharing how I feel about my hair with a neighbor who recommended a stylist named Stephanie Scuoppo who works at an established boutique salon in town. Needless to say, I was very hesitant as I have been using the services of high end Salons in Manhattan and was wondering how Stephanie could be any different. With a lot of hesitancy, I made an appointment to book an appointment at the Miano Viel and Spa where Stephanie works. Stephanie specializes in haircuts, 'red carpet looks', 100% human hair extensions and smoothing treatments tailored to your hair texture and lifestyle:)

As I walked into the brighly lit, modern Salon, I was warmly welcomed in and seated and a much needed Cappucino handed to me and shown to my chair, as I was greeted by Stephanie. After looking over my hair and asking about how much time I want to spend daily and in maintenance, considering how busy I am, raising twins and running several businesses, she suggested I go for layers on the top and the sides, yet keep the length I love.

Knowing I like to have some highlights without causing more damage to my over processed hair, Stephanie introduced me to Blanca, the Colorist at Miano Viel and Spa. Blanca specializes in fresh, modern and healthy looking color palates and Blanca will work with your natural skin tone and eye color to personalise your highlights, grey coverage or complete change. Blanca will assist new moms in getting back into a regular color regimen while understanding the needs of a busy lifestyle.

As I lounged at Miano Viel and Spa on chairs which had the functionality to massage my back as my cup was refilled with Cappucinos and magazines, got me to relax and drift away from the chaos of my daily life. As Stephanie and Blanka cut, shaped, colored, rinsed and blow dried my hair, time passed in this serene spa, right in the heart of New York City with the hustle and bustle of City life right outside, yet I felt like I was in a recluse in the tropics:D

Below is how I looked like AFTER Stephanie and Blanca worked on styling and coloring my hair - a new, more confident Mommy energed and my first reaction was 'wow - it feels so light and healthy'. I could not see any of the damage which was so visible before and I also felt they have given me a hair-lipo-suction by getting rid of lbs off my head:D

With Stephanie's focus on an individual's lifestyle, you can be sure that you will leave her chair not only feeling beautiful, but able to recreate the look at home. She will also recommend the use of a correct, multi-tasking home haircare system, to keep your hair at it's peak & minimize guesswork & wasted time, a must for busy moms.:) I certainly was made to feel like a Princess and walked out of the Salon feeling, rejuvenated and re-energized and a very happy Mommy and wife to go back and walk back into the daily challenges, now armed with a fabulous new head of hair:)

When I got home, my husband was so envious of my new hair do and wanted the lowdown on all the details. I was very happy to talk about Ray Symons, the Stylist at Miano Viel and Spa all set to work on Dads!! Originally from the UK, I got to hear Ray's initial training was with the best of the best - Vidal Sassoon.

With over three decades of experience Ray comes to us from London UK. He first got his start at Vidal Sassoon and arose through the ranks and became a young creative director teaching and mentoring at the famed Vidal Sassoon academy. He came to New York 25 years ago and worked at the Bumble and Bumble salon and later to Oscar Blandi and then worked his way styling hair for magazine editorials and covers to styling hair for the runways of fashion week in both London and New York and working on various Hollywood celebrities such as Rosario Dawson and Kristen Bell for their red carpet events. Ray has made his home at Miano Viel salon working on his clients and still spends time educating and mentoring stylists and novices in modern cutting techniques and working on celebrities for events. Other than his female clientele Ray has a very large male following. Some of his male clients have included Dax Sheppard, celebrity chef Curtis Stone and Ryan Reynolds.

Below is a picture of Ray and Stephanie who welcomes Moms and Dads to come either to have time out by themselves, or come together and be treated together in a private suite at Miano Viel and Spa and have a Date night and be completely pampered. Miano Viel and Spa is very kid friendly and management welcomes parents to bring their little ones in too and with advanced booking, all members of the family can be pampered together in one location, at the same time.:)

Ray and Stephanie above, ready to give you the image to make you feel real again with a great new image that you can manage while juggling your busy lives. More information can be found at :

Miano Viel and Spa (http://mianoviel.com)

16 E 52nd St # 200 New York, NY 10022-5306

(212) 980-3222

Mention Mom to Moms Advisor Llc and get 15% off the first Hair Cut with either Stephanie or Ray:)

After the fabulous job the team at Miano Viel did for me, I had no hesitation in returning to get a blow dry before an mejor business event. I had very little time and yet again, Stephanie worked quick and fast and I was again made to feel like a million dollars in very little time on a very busy day - great service for busy Moms and Dads:)

The team at Miano Viel - Blanca, Ray, Chini and Stephanie

Is your child ready for school? Our Experts speak out!

Mon, 05 Dec 2011 20:45:00 +0000

Having come across news of a "New Survey Revealing Two-Thirds of Kindergarten Teachers Say: “Children Are Not Adequately Prepared for School”, we wanted to know more.

The survey, conducted with more than 500 kindergarten teachers across the country, reveals that America’s kindergarten teachers believe most young children are unprepared for school when they enter kindergarten, and veteran kindergarten teachers believe that this situation is deteriorating.

Interestingly in some countries, kids do not start school of any kind until 6 or 7, yet produce some of our greatest scientists, athletes and artists alike. Age when kids enter full time school in other countries :

Age 4

Northern Ireland

Age Five

United States, England, Malta, Netherlands, Scotland, Wales

Age 6 Six

Austria, Belgium, Cyprus2, Czech Republic, Denmark3, France, Germany, Greece4, Hungary5, Iceland, Republic of Ireland, Italy, Liechtenstein, Luxembourg6, Norway, Poland7, Portugal, Romania8, Slovakia, Slovenia, Spain, Turkey ,

Seven

Bulgaria, Estonia,Finland, Latvia9, Lithuania, Sweden

When asked, “On average, how well prepared academically would you say children are when they first enter your kindergarten classroom?” two-thirds of teachers (66 percent) stated that students were only somewhat or not at all prepared, and only 6 percent felt that students were very well prepared academically.

We wanted to know what our Experts in Education had to say and this is what Nadine, our Super Nanny and Behaviorol Expert has to say :

The statistics in this article may seem alarming but an important point is being overlooked: academics are not everything, especially at the Kindergarten level. Children at the ages of 4-5 need to learn how to regulate their emotions, share and negotiate with their peers, and learn how to function as part of a group (in the classroom) and as a part of a community (outside the classroom). The suggestions provided in the article for promoting academic learning are very good ones; however, we need to keep in mind that if our 4-5 year olds are not confident, social, and inquisitive little beings, then learning academics won't be easy for them. Furthermore, I find that in my work, many parents do everything for their 4-5 year olds instead of allowing them to problem-solve and try things out on their own, regardless of failure. It is essential that we encourage young children, even as young as 18 months and 2 years old, to try things out on their own (eating, dressing, bathing themselves) and teaching them to seek out adults for help if they need it, instead of doing everything for them. It is only in this way that children will learn how to be independent and tackle everyday issues with confidence and strong will. The academics will be there for them every day when they are in school and during those "teachable moments" with parents and caregivers.

Nadine Maher, M.Ed., BCBA

SEIT/ABA Therapist

Developmental Delay and Autism Specialist

Family Training Specialist

Nadine can be contacted for a Consultation by e-mail : Nadine@momtomomsadvisor.com

We also asked Miss Christine, a Licensed Teacher currently teaching a class of 1st Graders in New York City and a Mom with two kids in College what her opinion was and this is what she had to say:

The statement that so many children enter kindergarten unprepared is alarming. It brings to mind the longitudinal, language acquisition study (1995) conducted by Betty Hart and Todd Risley that reported a whopping 30 million word gap between the vocabularies of families on the lower social-economic status and those of professional families by age three. There is no doubt that children living in poverty are academically disadvantaged to those who don’t; but, in my years of experience, I noticed that even children of families of higher SES encounter similar problems if they are not exposed to a wide range of written and oral language.
Children are born explorers; their brains act like sponges, absorbing new information incredibly fast. From birth to age 1, children’s’ brains already form millions of millions of synopses which can either support the creation of more or can be lost if not used. This means that every experience a child makes directly influences brain development. A child that is exposed to a wide variety of positive learning experiences from birth on such as a rich vocabulary, social interactions with peers, read-aloud, and hands-on-activities, will more likely make mental connections and organize thoughts, understand written and oral language and become a problem solver. A child deprived of meaningful experiences will not only lack vocabulary but also understanding of the world around it. Subsequently, the gap between vocabulary acquisition of children who are exposed to a rich vocabulary and those who aren’t will only increase during the first years of elementary school.
These kindergarten teachers are not saying that parents have to work on creating a clone of Einstein; they are bringing to light a phenomenon that is widespread across this country: too many young children come to school with no prior exposure to elementary understandings such as simple print concepts (e.g. reading directionality and letters) and basic knowledge in mathematics (e.g. shapes and counting 1-10).
This survey supports my belief as well that children need to be engaged in learning from birth on. The earlier we allow children to understand the world around them, the better they are prepared for school and for life.
Miss Christine is a Licensed Teacher and certified to teach from Pre-K to Grade 7 in New York City and bi-lingual German and English and available to offer private tuition. Special needs children very welcome. Please enquire for details by e-mailing Info@momtomomsadvisor.com

According to the teachers who were surveyed, children entering kindergarten are weakest academically in their knowledge of the alphabet and phonics, with two-thirds of teachers reporting that the majority of children do not know their alphabet when they enter kindergarten.

Though many early learning researchers cite the crucial importance of a child’s oral language development in relation to future academic success in reading and other subjects, less than 9 percent of responding teachers described the oral language skills of entering students as “very good.”

Many early childhood education experts advocate for preschool and pre-k programs that better prepare children for kindergarten. Of the kindergarten teachers who participated in this survey, 95 percent agreed that preschool attendance is, in fact, “beneficial,” with most of those (75 percent of all respondents) believing it is “very beneficial.”

Teachers were also asked about the value of technology in preparing children for kindergarten.

Seventy-seven percent (77 percent) of respondents view technology as “very useful” or “useful” in this respect. Specific benefits of technology cited most often were engagement, helping children learn the ABC’s, educational games, number recognition, and interactive learning.

Teacher Recommendations

Kindergarten teachers have several recommendations regarding what parents should do to prepare children for entering kindergarten, including the following:

Actively participate in your child’s education with pre-reading and reading activities, such as reading books together and practicing the alphabet.
Expose children to new experiences and talk with them about those experiences in order to improve their ability to speak and understand oral language and increase vocabulary.
Practice identifying numbers and counting with both verbal and written activities.
Work with children to identify shapes, colors, and objects in the world around them.
Place children in social settings with other young children so that they can learn together while they also develop manners and the ability to share and be respectful.
Parents can read Age of Learning’s Special Report to Parents: Preparing for Kindergarten for specific suggestions about how to work with their children to carry out these recommendations at www.ABCmouse.com/PreparingforKindergarten.

Dr. Rebecca Palacios, pre-k teacher of more than 25 years and co-founder of the National Board for Professional Teaching Standards (NBPTS), as well as a Senior Curriculum Advisor for Age of Learning, commented: “This survey offers additional evidence for something that teachers of young children know very well—when children have effective academic learning experiences prior to kindergarten, not only are the children more successful, but the kindergarten teachers are then more able to concentrate on making sure their students are well prepared for what they should be learning in first grade. So everyone benefits, all the way through elementary school and beyond.”

Kim Oliver Burnim, 2006 National Teacher of the Year, who has more than a decade of experience teaching kindergarten in a highly diverse setting and is also a Senior Curriculum Advisor for Age of Learning, noted: “Young children are able to learn a great deal if it is presented to them in the right way, in settings where they are encouraged to explore and interact with their environment and engage in active play. As a nation, we would get a huge return on investment by helping every child enter kindergarten prepared.”

And as one surveyed teacher observed about the importance of knowing the alphabet and other basic skills as they enter kindergarten, “Those who don’t are behind from day one.”

The objective of this survey, which sheds light on the significant gap between what children should know when they enter kindergarten and what they do know, is to provide parents with specific suggestions on how to better prepare young children for school during the critical years from birth through age five.

(See www.ABCmouse.com/KindergartenPreparednessSummary for a summary of the survey findings.) The results described above represent the responses of more than 500 kindergarten teachers to an online survey conducted between October 7th and October 23rd. The margin of error for this survey is ±4.3% at a 95 percent confidence interval.

About Age of Learning, Inc. / ABCmouse.com Early Learning Academy

Age of Learning, Inc. is a Glendale, California, company that has launched a global education initiative intended to provide young children with a strong foundation for future academic success. One of the goals of this initiative is the collection and dissemination of information about early childhood education in the United States and English language learning around the world.

Age of Learning, Inc. is also the creator of the award-winning early childhood education website ABCmouse.com Early Learning Academy®, described by many educators as the most comprehensive early learning curriculum available online. The website has received special recognition from Parents magazine, and has been honored with the 2011 Parents’ Choice Gold Award, the 2011 Mom’s Choice Gold Award, and the 2010 Children’s Technology Review Editor’s Choice Award. Also, the WMA presented ABCmouse.com with the 2010 Outstanding Achievement in Web Development award in two categories—Education Standard of Excellence and the Family Standard of Excellence.

For more information about ABCmouse.com, visit these links:

www.ABCmouse.comwww.ABCmouse.com/AboutUswww.ABCmouse.com/mobile-appswww.ABCmouse.com/lettersongsFacebook: www.facebook.com/ABCmouse

Photos/Multimedia Gallery Available: http://www.businesswire.com/cgi-bin/mmg.cgi?eid=50053229&lang=en

Do you hit your child?

Tue, 11 Oct 2011 15:30:00 +0000

As parents we want to do the best by our children at all times and in every way possible, from ensuring they have a healthy diet and having them well rested to teaching them boundaries and to be respectful to others and grow up to be law abiding, well mannered and well adjusted citizens:)

There are numerous approaches to parenting available and we all try to do what we think is right.

Time Out? Grounding? Positive Parenting? Scolding? Smacking? Positive Parenting? Pretend they are someone elses child:) As first time parents, how would we know?

A recent research article published byKim Oakes, a professor at Sydney University and a council member of the International Society for the Prevention of Child Abuse and Neglect led me to to ask our Behavioral Expert, Super Nanny Nadine, what she thought about the above article and what she thinks about hitting a child in general.

Children are now legally protected from all forms of physical punishment in 29 countries.

Read more: http://www.smh.com.au/opinion/society-and-culture/attitude-to-child-discipline-smacks-of-ambivalence-20111007-1ldg8.html#ixzz1aULoW8ki

This is what our Super Nanny Nadine had to say

"Like this article states, the only thing you are teaching children when you hit them is that hitting is ok! So don't be shocked when your 3-year old hits you back one day! Parents, whether they want to be or not, are their child's biggest role model and therefore, need to behave in a socially appropriate manner as much as possible. Studies on the use of behavioral interventions which focus on positive reinforcement have been proven to work so there is no need for physical punishment of any kind. Creating a consistent, predictable and structured environment in your home and community will help children feel secure and will teach them rules and discipline. Some suggestions: creating visual (picture) schedules, explaining rules and consequences before the behavior occurs and keeping a calm and firm tone when giving directions. Be consistent and you will see positive changes all day long!"

Nadine, M.Ed., BCBA, SEIT/ABA Therapist

Developmental Delay and Autism Specialist

Family Training Specialist

Nadine can be contacted at Nadine@momtomomsadvisor.com. Contact her today to learn about effective tools you can use to put an end to your child's challenging behaviors in order to start enjoying SUCCESSFUL parenting!!:)

'Babies do not come with a handbook? They do now!

Tue, 17 May 2011 21:15:00 +0000

Mom to Moms Advisor Llc is always on the look out for products or services that will empower parents and give them the tools to do the greatest job in the world - Parenting and we are thrilled to have interviewed Louise Heren, one of the authors of 'Nanny in a Book' . 'Nanny in a Book' is a practical companion to childcare that will help you with: setting up your nursery; sleeping, weaning and potty training; teaching your child good manners and behaviour; nursing common ailments from sore tummies to measles; and, organising a fabulous birthday party. Full of Nanny's top tips and personal stories, "Nanny in a Book" will become a trusted guide and a treasured companion - the next best thing to Mary Poppins herself sweeping in on the East wind and turning up on your doorstep.:D

Nanny in a Book from Eric Huyton on Vimeo.

Louise Heren, co-author of Nanny in a Book and Mom to 6 year old

Louise Heren founded Reybridge Films in 2003. BBC-trained, Louise has extensive adventure, observational-doc, drama-documentary, corporate and commercials experience. Louise has filmed all over the world and has first hand experience of dangerous location filming.

She was nominated for an RTS West for “Special Babies” - an observational documentary series following the lives of doctors, nurses and patients on a premature baby unit, which she series produced and directed. Her recent work on Discovery Channel’s two-hour “Expedition Borneo” has earned her an Emmy nomination for Outstanding Science, Technology and Nature Programming.

She was recently the guest of the Singapore Government holding their “Co-producing for the International Market” seminar. She frequently lectures at the Skillset Academy media colleges in the southwest and has run training courses for BBC.

Website : http://www.nannyinabook.com/from-the-book.html

Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/pages/Nanny-in-a-Book/167075093357132?ref=ts

Mom to Moms :How did life change for you after becoming a Mom?

Louise Heren: Life became more hectic, little free time, even less money, but I would never turn the clock back. My little boy is the best thing ever. I'm more tolerant, my negotiating skills have reached new heights and I play - something I'd lost the habit of doing.

Mom to Moms : As well as a Mom, you are a respected producer and director with established credentials in childcare observational documentaries and spent a year at Norland Nannies. Who are they and what makes their approach to childcare helpful to modern day busy working parents?

Louise Heren : Norland College opened in 1892 and is the world's first childcare college dedicated to educating and caring for babies and children under 8. Norland College has been at the forefront of childcare for over a century. Norland Nannies are quintessential English nannies, starched uniforms and look like Mary Poppins underneath which, they are very well educated young women with 21st century childcare credentials. Their approach is based on over 5000 Norland nannies feeding back their experience to the College. Over the years, they have worked with more children than all other childcare gurus put together so everything they do is based on the latest techniques with a century of commonsense childcare, like granny knew, to back them up. For modern parents, their approach is straight forward commonsense, no frills, and their advice doesn't go out of fashion.

Mom to Moms : Why should every expectant Parent and Parents of pre-5s buy Nanny in a Book?

Louise Heren :Because this is childcare at its best. Norland Nannies work with royalty and celebrities around the world. They are highly paid because they are very well trained. But sadly not all families can afford a Norland nanny, so Nanny in a Book has put their knowledge in one place so the "average" family can bring up their children the way nanny does. The book won't ever replace a Norland nanny, but it goes a long way to bringing their advice and childcare methods to every home.

Mom to Moms :What topics are covered in the book?

Louise Heren : We cover everything from setting up a nursery for an infant just home from the maternity unit, to difficult behaviour, to table manners and healthy eating without fuss, how to have the best birthday parties, and how to travel happily as a family by car, train or plane. In fact our travel chapter is chapter 2 when traditionally childcare books save this for the end. If you were a family with a newborn and a Norland nanny, you could go globe trotting as soon as you were fit enough to travel because nanny would take care of the infant. So carrying that ethos through to the book, armed with nanny's travel tips for journeys with infants and toddlers, don't be scared of travelling with a new family, just take it easy and alter your expectations. Read chapter 2 for how to do it really well.

Mom to Moms : What has been the greatest challenge to date for you in becoming a Mom?

Louise Heren : That's been juggling small child, work and home. I'm a television documentary producer and the hours are long and erratic. Having nursery call to say my little boy has a temperature when I am in the middle of an edit and can I collect him has happened and when it does, my need to get to him takes priority. Taking viewings with him on my hip may not look professional, but if the film needs to be finished, it's sometimes the only way.

Mom to Moms : If you can give a new Mom one piece of advice, what would it be?

Louise Heren : Don't shout.:D Respect your child by not shouting at him or her. If you shout, he'll learn how it's done and use it back at you when he's frustrated. It'll only make you shout some more to tell him off. If you don't like being shouted at, don't start it.

Mom to Moms : Tell us what you think about Mom to Moms Advisor and believe in their approach to sourcing Nannies.

Louise Heren : Mom to Moms Advisor's one to one approach means that every family gets the attention they deserve when it comes to such a big decision. We're all busy and having someone with experience take the strain out of finding top notch childcare but still leaving the ultimate decision to the parents seems a very smart idea.

“Whatever their circumstances this book will guide parents through the early years and help them to provide the best start for their child”

- Liz Hunt, Principal of Norland College

A 'Nanny in a Book' is available to be purchased online

 :http://www.amazon.com/Nanny-Book-Louise-Heren/dp/0091935466/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1305663895&sr=8-1

This is no ordinary childcare book. Nanny in a Book is full of common sense, no nonsense advice

from the best childcare experts in the world – the Norland Nannies. Going back to basicscombining

the best of what nanny knew with 21st century child care expertise Nanny in a Book

will become a trusted guide and treasured companion – the next best thing to Mary Poppins herself

sweeping in on the east wind and solving your parenting problems.

For over a century the distinctively uniformed Norland Nannies have been the most respected

nannies in the world. Caring for thousands of families with clients so varied to include some royal

and celebrity families. Not everyone can have one but Nanny in a Book is the next best thing.

A recent Government report suggested that many parents still need guidance on the basic principles

of parenting. Nanny in a Book is based on a wealth of experience, it’s a handbook for parents full

of top tips and personal advice. Norland Nannies’ clear advice and straightforward methods, that

have been tried and tested on thousands of families have finally been brought together for the first

time.

Nanny in a Book is a practical companion to childcare that will helpparents with:

• Setting up a nursery

• Sleeping, weaning and potty training

• Teaching children good manners and behaviour

• Travelling with children

• Nursing common ailments from sore tummies to measles

• Organising a fabulous birthday party

By giving parents clear and common sense advice that is not influenced by fads and fashions in childcare but from accumulated knowledge of

thousands of nannies, Nanny in a Book is the only handbook a parent needs to help ensure their child grows up happy and well adjusted

Babies don’t come with a handbook – they do now.

The Common-Sense Guide to Childcare by Louise Heren and Susan McMillan

About the Authors:

Louise Heren is a television producer and director with established credentials in childcare

observational documentaries.

Susan McMillan is an award-winning television producer and writer.

She lectures in creative writing and has written for BBC Books as well as numerous television scripts.

Together they have written, filmed and produced many documentaries, including Special Babies and

Nanny School, which involved them spending a year at Norland College. They have written this book in

association with the childcare experts at Norland College.

Louise Heren, Susan McMillan and Liz Hunt, Principal of Norland College are available for interview.

For extracts, review copies or more information please contact Kasi Collins in the Ebury Press office

on 0207 840 8373 or email kcollins@eburypublishing.co.uk

When writing Nanny in a Book Louise Heren and Susan McMillan worked in

consultation with Norland College in Bath.

Norland College was founded in 1892 by Emily Ward, who recognised the need for childcare,

particularly in the early years, to be more structured.

Norland was the first college to offer any kind of childcare training. The curriculum at the college has

 changed and progressed with time to offer the most up-to-date academic childcare

training courses and the highest practice standards, in line with the latest research, and as a result

 Norland has maintained its high reputation.

Throughout its constant development, Norland’s values have remained the same always having the upmost respect for children and families with children being the focus of all decisions and the

Norland motto ‘Love Never Faileth’ still at the core of its values.

A Norland Nanny enjoys unparalleled reputation around the world for true professionalism,

love of children and a sense of humour

http://www.amazon.com/Nanny-Book-Louise-Heren/dp/0091935466/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1305663895&sr=8-1

Home alone with Infant Twins - Help!!!!

Mon, 25 Apr 2011 19:44:00 +0000

Being a Mom is hard. Being a stay at home Mom has its challenges as one could feel a tremendous sense of loneliness and isolation. All of a sudden, what I have been planning and wanting for years has happened. I am a Mom:) My twins were around six months old. Husband was working full time and we were living in a four-storey town house in London, in 2006. During the first 9 months of my twins lives, I hardly ever left the house during the day except for immunizations or medical check ups which was done with my husband driving all of us. I stuck to the routine of set times for feeding, napping and playing for the babies. Oh yes, I was told it is good for the babies to take a walk every day, but I thought it was too much work as I did not have the skills or the know how to feel confident in getting two babies out in a practical, quick and safe out of a town house with steps outside with a double buggy.:(

So, how did I stay sane? :roll:

From the time I started to conceive, I joined www.babycentre.co.uk where I made online friendships with countless number of Moms and Moms to be from the click of a mouse from home. Surely, the internet is full of nutters? How did I know whom I was befreinding were for real? I did not. After I conceived, I joined www.tamba.co.uk which is the Twins and Multiple Births Association in the UK consisting of 9000+ members. I was posting about trying to conceive, then about worries about various problems in pregnancy and then asking for advice on how to manage twins!!! The support and encouragement received from these virtual 'strangers' was over whelming. Amongst my online freindships were those whom have had multiple miscarriages, those with singletons, not just parents of mulitples and more. We shared what books we should be reading and tricks of the trade to get a baby to sleep through to sharing our worries about whether we were doing all the right things for our children.

What was amazing was I did go on to meet many of these 'virtual strangers' in person:D In fact, once I invited my group of contacts from babycentre to spend a day in my home. Families came from across the United Kingdom and all of them were as what we knew of each other online. Normal women going through the journey from fertility to giving birth and becoming a Parent or wanting to be one....Along the way, I learned there are others whom are not blessed as myself. Countless number of women who would make wonderful mothers kept on having multiple miscarriages or only to conceive to lose their babies due to a stroke of luck or mother nature.:( Below is a picture taken on that day.

In this picture taken in 2006, two of the Moms in the picture I am still in touch with in 2011. One to the far left is Esme who went on to have another baby and built her successful photography business AFTER becoming a Mom(http://www.esmerobinson.com/) On the far right is Kirsten who also went on to have another baby and is a successful Opera singer who after several years of working and travelling with her eldest, is for now, a stay at home Mom, resident in Germany (http://web.me.com/kirstenhodges/Site/Welcome.html)

I must also mention the www.nct.co.uk which is a national organization with local support groups which puts you in touch with parents in your neighbourhood. This was where I met a handful of mothers in my neighbourhood whom organized 'coffee mornings', nights out, play dates and discussed the pros and cons of local nurseries and about finding childcare and other services such as finding a great cleaner and family freindly restaurants in the neighbourhood. Today, I am in touch with several of those Moms too whom have also gone on to have more children and are based all over Europe:)

Lastly, but not least, the UK Twins Club (www.tamba.co.uk) was an incredible support line as the message board is strictly for members, encouraging members to feel more secure in posting about personal concerns. Through this board, I have again made friendships out of mostly 'virtual' exchanges and have met many in person over the last five years. I suspect, I will go on to meet many more as we are facing different challenges to those when our babies were infants ie to separate twins or not at school, developmental and behavioural issues etc.

Amazingly, I have also done a house swap with another family of multiples in the UK without ever meeting them in person which was great for both families and the swap was international :) Today, Facebook has changed the nature of how we all communicate and I guess it is a medium by which we ALL keep in touch with today.

Today, expecting parents have endless choice of supoprt groups locally and virtually to reach out to. Today, I suspect becoming a Mom is even harder than a decade ago as the pressures on parents to do 'everything ' is immense. The economic climate has changed and the costs of living is higher. Expectations from our partners and their expectations of us has also increased. We are all expected to have great careers, 2.2 kids, a great home, look our best and get the best schools for our kids...all the while parents do not actually get a 'day off' whether single or in a relationship. Being a parent is damn hard and one should reach out to various support groups available to connect with other parents locally and online. Naturally, please do follow guidelines in being safe online and never ever publish your contact numbers or address online.

Being a new Parent can be very frightening and isolating. Our therapist, Alisa will be able to make a visit to your home for a 'good chat' - confidentially. Alisa is a qualified post partum doula, qualified LCSW, Mom to a son and daughter aged 18 and 21 and specializes in the issues realted to fertility, pregnancy and post-partum.

Alisa Hafkin, LCSW

Alisa works with individuals, who are experiencing difficulty with depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, work and interpersonal conflicts, all within the context of the conception, pregnancy and the post-partum period. She says how you feel about your self, your life, your relationships and your pursuits can drastically change when trying to conceive, during pregnancy and after delivery.

To book an appointment to have a 'chat' with the lovely Alisa, please e-mail Alisa@momtomomsadvisor.com. Please give a contact number and a convenient time to return the call.

BIO

Alisa earned her Master of Social Work degree from Fordham University. She combines her phychotherapy practice with seven years experience as a doula to create a unique expertise with individuals and couples preparing and/or deaing with pre and post pregnancy issues. Her distinctive practice includes home based therapy sessions when office visists are not feasible. In addition, Alisa works in the creative arena, providing therapy for muscians through The Jazz Foundation of America. Alisa maintains a private practice in Manhattan's Upper West Side.

Being a new Mom can be very frightening and isolating. Our therapist, Alisa will be able to make a visit to your home for a 'good chat' - confidentially. Alisa is a qualified post partum doula, qualified LCSW, Mom to a son and daughter aged 18 and 21 and specialises in the issues realted to fertility, pregnancy and post-partum.

Alisa Hafkin, LCSW

Alisa works with individuals, who are experiencing difficulty with depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, work and interpersonal conflicts, all within the context of the conception, pregnancy and the post-partum period. She says how you feel about your self, your life, your relationships and your pursuits can drastically change when trying to conceive, during pregnancy and after delivery.

To book an appointment to have a 'chat' with the lovely Alisa, please e-mail Alisa@momtomomsadvisor.com. Please give a contact number and a convenient time to return the call.

BIO

FEES ARE PAYABLE DIRECTLY TO THE THERAPIST.

For rates for regular sessions, and for sessions outside New York City, please enquire.

Babies need to eat food - what? How? HELP!!!!!!

Mon, 28 Mar 2011 18:07:00 +0000

April 2008 in London, UK. Ryan and Joshua are now approaching the age to start eating more than milk:roll: I was at that time, known for my cooking skills with family and friends who loved their food spicy, spicy and spicy:) I knew nothing about baby food. However, as Ryan and Joshua were premature, I was told nutrition is very important in the first two years of their lives as the brain doubles in size....since being born at such a low birth weights of 2 and 3 lbs, their future development was still very uncertain. Already a paranoid mother who now started researching on what to start feeding premature twin who were not yet able to hold their heads up.

My search for answers led me to books by Gina Ford and Annabel Karmel. I loved the pictures and the simple instructions along with nutritional information on every food item in Annabel's books and Gina's recommendations were in line if you were already having a structured routine with your baby. Ryan and Joshua were not in exact routines given by any author and neither had specific advice for premature babies.

Solids are normally introduced between 4-6 months. With premature babies in the United Kingdom, the age to introduce solids was based on 'actual' age as opposed to 'corrected age'. This meant to me Ryan and Joshua had to start on solids at 6 months of actual age when they would be in fact 4 months:( I also found out if solids are introduced too early and too soon, it can lead to the development of allergies as in some babies, the digestive tract would not have been fully developed. Also, MILK gives all the nutrition a baby needs in the first year of their lives and solids are meant to be to develop their taste, get to know different textures etc as opposed to meet their full nutritional needs.

What are the least allergenic foods to start with? Would that also be highly nutritious and calorie dense as that is what I looked for when trying to make a decision on the first item:)

Olaf and myself decided on 'baby rice' (infant cereal) which is prepared mixed with either breast milk or formula. We knew it was hardly nutritious dense, but it appeared like the least risky item to start with as most people I enquired with at the time, started with baby rice too. Ofcourse, then I tried to find the best organic baby rice available and ordered it in advance. I also ordered a food processor and ice cubes.

It was Ryan whom decided to have the first spoonful of his baby rice - holding him and feeding him with a small plastic spoon.

Joshua having his first spoonful of baby rice.

Why is baby rice so commonly introduced as baby's first food?

Well, there are several reasons - the main one being that it is the first food most frequently recommended to parents by pediatricians and medical professionals.

There is also an element of tradition - after all, it was the first food that many of US received as babies and offering baby rice has become established and widely accepted as the 'norm' when transitioning infants to solids.

So WHY has infant rice cereal always been considered the best first food for baby?

It is relatively bland in taste - some experts say that this makes it more acceptable to babies because - when mixed with breast milk or formula - it tastes familiar to them.

You can mix it to a fairly thin texture, which is believed to be ideal for babies making the transition from an all-liquid diet to a more solid one.

It provides necessary iron - most baby rice is iron-fortified to boost babies' levels of this essential dietary element at a time when they become depleted (around 6 months of age).

-It is believed to be relatively non-allergenic, making it a safer option as a first food.

-It is said to be very easily digested.

-It is believed - by some - to help babies sleep through the night by keeping their tummies full for longer.

-It is gluten free, meaning that it can be given to babies under 6 months of age (please see this page for more information about gluten).

Read more: http://www.homemade-baby-food-recipes.com/best-first-food-for-baby.html#ixzz1Hvhfk54w

http://www.homemade-baby-food-recipes.com/best-first-food-for-baby.html

The dates show the boys started on solids 2 weeks short of being 6 months old. We decided to offer the rice in the afternoon one day, but followed on offering it mid morning going forward and mid afternoon. We used bouncy chairs to feed the boys which supported their necks as they were not yet ready for high chairs at this stage.

The bouncy chairs in which the boys were fed solids when they first started until they could. hold their heads up and transition to high chairs.

We carried on trying baby rice with the babies for around 2 weeks :) Talk about being cautious, right? Ok, so what next? Find out in the next blog entry!!! Thanks so much for reading. Would love to hear any feed back:)

Not just another father, a twin, sportsman and class clown:)

Tue, 15 Mar 2011 23:19:00 +0000

My father, Srian was a fraternal twin whom was the first to be delivered at home in Colonial times in Sri Lanka. In my memory, I remember as a child that he was a disciplinarian to his kids, a best friend during my teenage years, an advocate in my University days, proud and equal as I landed a prestigious position within Investment Banking and 'leading by example' was his motto. Srian went on to become an athlete whose records are still unbeaten in 2011!:D However, he was the twin that people thought was the most easy going, accommodating, hospitable and the life of the party and I suspect was also the 'class clown' in school. :) He must have been so popular amongst his peers, I remember during his funeral, a lot of his 'admirers' from school days came to sympathize with my mother, Thilaka :)

As my father went to having a career and three children, he did not stop following his interests, especially in sports which was his passion and one of his dreams was one day one of his children will excel at a global level - in ......sports:) He said what ever you choose to do in life, be the 'best' which contradicted with my mother's dreams which was to have all three children become doctors:) The three of are neither all medics nor all athletes, but continue to be amazed by what our father achieved in his short time on Earth of just 56 years.

My father was one of the most energetic and active people I have ever known. Unfortunately, Srian passed away in the UK (2002) after suffering a sudden heart attack. Three years on, I went on to to hear I am expecting twin boys and that really was a time I missed my father very much. I have named one of my sons after my father - Joshua Srian :) Tomorrow will be his 9 th Year death anniversary. My twin boys are both very energetic, active boys whom loves sports too and are already excelling at gymnastics and are yet to get into athleticss. I am not sure nor expect my sons to follow their grand father's footsteps into athletics, but I do hope like him, they will grow up to be well mannered, hard working and responsible citizens:)

Below is an appreciation submitted by his eldest brother, Lalith Perera many years ago to a news paper in memory of my father to those who might be interested in getting to know more about an amazing twin, a grateful and appreciative son, devoted brother, husband and father, talented sportmans and a loyal and supportive friend.

Srian's family, friends and associates commemorated his fifth death anniversary on March 16. It was on this day five years ago that Srian answered his summons of fate just after completing his customary exercises at a gym in England like a true sportsman. His untimely demise plunged all who knew him into a state of shock and misery.

Srian with his brothers entered the hallowed portals of that premier Catholic educational institution in the island, St. Joseph's College, Colombo, and excelled as a brilliant athlete whose splendid sprinting, an epitome of style and grace had to be seen to be believed. In 1961, which was one of his best years, Srian established two public school records in his pet events the sprints which have remained intact ever since.

In memory of a person who was recognised as an outstanding sportsman in his hey day, the family, friends and Old Joes Associations have created the Srian Perera Memorial Fund for Sports to encourage future generations at St. Joseph's College Colombo, his alma mater to make similar contributions in time to come.

As a working planter too, he established a healthy rapport with his colleagues in planting and became the branch chairman of the Ceylon Planters Society in Nuwara Eliya and was once the president of a prestigious Planters Club in the central hills.

However, with the winds of change that swept across the plantations following the nationalisation of estates, Srian decided to seek greener pastures with the welfare of his young family foremost in his mind which eventually proved to be one of his wisest decisions in life.

Srian was such a dedicated person that he was successful in obtaining his Masters in Business Administration in UK while keeping the home fires burning and was a much sought after consultant in Old Blighty.

Srian married Thilaka, a Science Graduate of the University of Colombo. Thilaka who was a tower of strength to Srian throughout his life is the eldest daughter of late Senator Y.R. Piyasena and Soma Piyasena.

The very fact that Chinthani is an accountant, Sashini a doctor of medicine and their only son Yenusha still in his fire of youth bearing a striking resemblance to his versatile father, chip of the old block, so to say, is a graduate and a consultant who has trotted the globe, will bear ample testimony to what I write.

Their sons-in-law, Olaf is an accomplised banker in Central London now doing a stint in the United States for his reputed establishment while Rovine happens to be a competent attorney-at-law working for a renowned solicitor firm in the UK. All of them take justifiable pride in being associated with a great family that had Srian and Thilaka at the helm.

He was so attached to his brothers that he considered them as a God-given to him so much so that if he ever sensed a scenario that would have destabilised them, he took it as a missile hurled at him and promptly took meaningful steps to rally round his brothers in a firm expression of support, because to him a united family was paramount.

This alone was reason enough for his twin, Major General Janaka Perera, Sri Lanka's former ambassador to Australia and Indonesia, his other brothers; Prithi, a leading accountant now occupying the coveted post of Secretary General in Sri Lanka's National Commission for UNESCO; Ajith, well known business entrepreneur and I, eldest in the family, a planter and a senior agricultural advisor to look up to Srian, the family's sheet anchor.

Srian's generosity knew no bounds and in assisting people in their hour of need, he indulged in acts of benevolence rarely seen thus displaying humanity at its best as he belonged to a vanishing breed of great men who genuinely cherished human values.

He has left an indelible mark in the annals of our time thus creating a void that can never be filled and it is patently clear how desperately the world needs the likes of him and one could say for all the world to hear �This was a Man.�

It is never right that such men should be called away, but I presume one has to face the realties of life when destiny plays its role.

As we commemorate his fifth death anniversary and celebrate his exemplary life, memories of him will linger on.

We loved him in life, let us not forget him in death.

Lalith

http://www.thesundayleader.lk/archive/20070527/letters.htm

Super Dad Chris shares how he does it all

Tue, 08 Feb 2011 18:17:00 +0000

Today, for most of us, being a parent, running a household, working full time leaves very little time for ourselves. Chris Whitwam is a father to twins and an older child living in the United Kingdom. Chris has a demanding career, passionate about diving and have dived in some of the most exotic locations in the world. In February 2011, his eldest daughter appeared in local and national news papers across the United Kingdom for being the youngest person to ever dive with Sharks at Blue Planet Aquarium (http://sharkdives.blueplanetaquarium.com/) We wanted to know 'How do it do it all???'

Here is a blog post by Chris on his approach to life and parenting and following his passions in life. There is a saying I have heard from a Mom of multiples and more Luba Chernov (Founder of Moms of Pelham http://www.facebook.com/?ref=logo#!/group.php?gid=50197596930) "If Momma is not happy, no one is happy" Maybe the same applies to Dads?:)

Very Proud and an Interesting Question

What a month!

My eldest daughter Jess (pictured above) has been all over the National and Local papers this month for being the youngest person to ever dive with Sharks at Blue Planet Aquarium. She has made me proud!

I’ve been asked a very interesting question.

How do I manage to do something as demanding as Diving, Include my children whilst having a busy job at the same time?

It’s a good question for a few reasons mainly as I’m a Daddy to Twins and an older child.

Any Dad knows how demanding life gets when children come along and any Daddy to twins knows the very big and unique challenges that presents.

My approach is very simple. My kids come first. They are my friends as well as my children and I am here to help them grow and prepare them for a full and challenging life.

I never ever force or push my kids into anything. If they want to dive or ski with me that’s great and if not then I do what they want to do too. Most importantly we have fun in everything we do, talk about our experiences and have a laugh.

It’s important you take the time to discover yourself and understand not only who you are but how much you are really capable of. Being a parent is all about helping your children along this journey to discover themselves, what they are good at and also what they need to work at.

I see being a parent as a privilege and a big responsibility.

Follow Chris's Blog as he shares his ongoing journey doing it all!!!

http://web.me.com/chriswhitwam/Chris_Whitwam_-_Dive_Blog/Blog/Entries/2011/2/7_Very_Proud_and_an_Interesting_Question.html

New Dad? Feeling down?

Sun, 26 Dec 2010 23:23:00 +0000

Your wife/partner has just given birth and you do not feel the euphoria you were told you would expect when you witnessed her giving birth or after a while of being a New Dad? Guess what dudes? It is ok to feel like that. :)

Depression and sadness is something many new mothers experience shortly after having a baby.There are many reasons for this including fluctuations in hormones and a history of depression. This feeling is not something only new mothers experience, as new fathers are vulnerable to depression as well and often times this is not addressed. Many men feel depressed after the birth of their child and because of an internal imperative to provide and protect, vulnerability is not something men are prone to discuss. Depression in men after childbirth may occur as a response to a new mother’s depression – not knowing what to do to help their partner rise up from despair.

Men who face a partner who is depressed sometimes try to cope in ways that may seem counterintuitive such as returning to work sooner than expected and/or working longer hours. When men see their partner suffering from persistent sadness they may feel a strong sense of powerlessness and fear as anything they try to do to alleviate that sadness does not seem to work.

A new baby is “supposed” to make parents feel elated but too often new parents are caught by surprise at their sad reaction to this significant change in their lives. It is extremely important for men to understand that their partner’s depression is not something they can fix and they may need help trying to understand their confusing reactions.

Men also may experience depression as a result of acknowledging the increased level of responsibility that a new baby brings upon his/her arrival. Before a baby is born there is much planning and preparation but no one can actually anticipate what it feels like to be completely responsible for another person’s life until it happens. Men may experience powerful urges to protect their new infant and may be caught by surprise by a desire to have their old lives back out of fear of not being up to doing the job of parenting.

There has been much press and information of late about the physical and mental health of new mothers and thankfully many women have benefitted from the exposure. Men are also prone to depression and deeply confusing emotions after the birth of a child and they require as much attention as new moms. The birth of a child is not a simple event and it has the potential to bring up feelings that many men cannot seem to manage on their own.

If you are a new father and some of what you have just read resonates with you, please give me a call and together we can sort out these feelings and help you develop ways to cope with the dramatic change in your life.

To book an appointment to have a 'chat' with the lovely Alisa, please e-mail Alisa@momtomomsadvisor.com. Please give a contact number and a convenient time to return the call.

BIO

FEES ARE PAYABLE DIRECTLY TO THE THERAPIST.

For rates for regular sessions, and for sessions outside New York City, please enquire.

Twins Sleeping through at 6/7 wks corrected age!

Wed, 08 Dec 2010 10:26:00 +0000

It is almost three months since the birth of my twin boys Ryan and Joshua. They were on four hourly formula feedings at 6 am, 10 am, 2 pm, 6 pm and 10 pm. At one point, I decided to amend the routine having taken tips from Gina Ford (http://www.contentedbaby.com/). I must mention I read several books from different authors including Gina Ford and my babies were never scheduled to the exact way any of the books said they should be, although I did try my best. For example, my babies were never great day time nappers and I did not have them both sleeping for the solid two hours at midday as suggested by Gina Ford. However, they only awoke to feed by this stage, played happily and snoozed off one after the other. Twins were synchorinzed almost 100% with their feeding, napping and sleeping, so when they slept or were fed and playing, I was able to do other tasks.

I started introducing a feed before bath time, so the feed at 6 pm was split into two. After giving half the bottle, the babies were bathed and then given the other half. This meant they were able to consume twice as much as they normally did at bed time. At this stage, their stomachs were still very small for three month olds and by giving two feeds, they soon started to fall asleep and stay asleep for longer. The 10 pm feed was moved to 11 pm and one night neither Ryan nor Joshua woke up for the 2 am feed, so I did not wake them up again after that! Ryan, however was struggling to stay without a feed until 6 am and I do remember one night hearing him cry and after a couple of minutes, decided to feed him.

At around 15 weeks of age (3 months and a few weeks), corrected age being 6/7 weeks, both babies were sleeping through from 6.30 pm until 5.30/6 am. They slept without a feed and without getting up for 11 hours. Hurray!!!!:D We got our evenings back all of a sudden and started getting back into somewhat how it was before the babies were born. They were sharing a cotbed in our room in the night. So far, we have only had the use of a cleaner twice a week and therefore have not been out together. However, I did make some friends locally within the NCT and started having regular Moms Nights Outs.:D

Olaf, my husband now had to go out for corporate nights outs on his own as we did not have a Babysitter. As our two lives started changing, I certainly did not realise how much more it would, with now being parents of two babies. Olaf and myself were together as a couple for 8 years before we became parents and have travelled round the world twice and almost always socialised together and had mutual friends. I also worked before getting married and had my own independence so to speak. But right now, when my babies were so young, I was totally enwrapped in the world of raising and nurturing our two miracles.

We were finally seeing the smiles we longed to see and saw two active babies whom overall seems to be very content and happy.

As months approached, the next new challenge laid ahead for us as first time parents - introducing solids to premature twins - find out next what we fed the babies and from where we got the food from !:)